Ew, animals don’t belong in rectums, neither do matches but that’s up to them
Comment on Pressing question
ByteJunk@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
This reminds me of one of the OG memes.
“In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.” At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.”
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract
Gonzako@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Ghost_Mermaid@lemmy.zip 11 hours ago
Oh, the poor gerbil!
ByteJunk@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
It was for the best. Neither man nor beast should ever see the things poor gerbil saw…
mugthol@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
What happened to rhe gerbil?