As a bottom I can give you one rule: penetrative sex of any kind is not supposed to be painful.

If it is then there’s usually a diagnosable problem to fix. It’s not always physical it can be really spiritual. I struggle with bottoming usually because I need to like the person I’m with enough to relax, it’s called being demi-sexual.

I feel like tops of any sexuality don’t really grok how intense of an experience it is to let someone into your own body such that when they’re in they don’t know how to respect what’s in there. Sometimes it does get so intense that it comes out of your voice, sometimes for me at least it gets too intense and I’m not sure if it feels good or bad so I need my top to slow down and let me figure out how things got rearranged.

Lastly, porn recorded by total nobodys on a webcam or iPhone is just barely grazing the boundary of reality. So if you’re not vocal, you don’t scream, then you just don’t like that just not you.