Does this guy have a wife? Is he going to hurt me? Is he just using me?

I probably wouldn’t be in a relationship with a guy if these were my worries during sex. But, there are other considerations that happen regardless of relationship status.

There’s an inherent difference in being the “receiver,” a type of intimacy that only comes from having somebody else physically inside your own body. Things can get sore, especially if the guy treats sex like an Olympic event that he needs to keep on doing for a long time. (Or if he has his own issues with orgasming from penetration, which is surprisingly common these days. “Death grip” where a man becomes accustomed to the tightness of his own hand, or a reliance on viewing porn in order to cum, seem to be all over the place.)

I enjoy penetrative sex, but my body needs a break sometimes. Things can start to get uncomfortable after going on for 20 minutes. I don’t think most straight guys are aware of the physical stress of being penetrated. It can be fun, in small doses, but if we regularly get to the point where I feel sore inside, it can become something aversive. Honestly I’d rather be with a guy who cums too quickly than a guy who can “keep going on and on,” because it sucks to always be the one to put an end to sexy times.