Checking out at the liquor store

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “Awww. I hardly ever get ‘carded’ anymore. It feels kind of nice.”

Starts to pull out wallet

Cashier: “Oh, nevermind. You’re good.”

Me: “…Listen here you little shit. You started this whole thing. Now I’m going to show you my ID anyways and you’re going to act surprised like ‘OMG! I could have sworn he was 22! I didn’t even notice his bald spot.’”.