Comment on Anon likes a woman
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 6 days agoReality hits when you see them as a real person with nuanced emotions, deep personal history, and a rich inner world. The reality of a person clashes with the fantasy of them.
What reality are you living in? The one I live in my fantasy of them is this person, but the reality of them is have are shallow, petty, person with the inner complexity of a Disney movie, who thinks nuance emotion makes you gay and they don’t care a bout personal history, but they very much care 0s are in your bank account and how many of those 0s you are going to spend for the ‘privilege’ of their miserable tamper tantrum toddler company, as they lecture you for 45m how ‘deep’ they are because their therapist told them so.
Manticore@lemmy.nz 6 days ago
That one.
In a fantasy, your crush is perfect. In reality, they’re messy, traumatised, vulnerable, reactive etc. That’s nuance. That’s history. We’re so immersed in our own fundamental ideas from upbringing that it’s easy to assume we’re the default, but not a single one of us are.
Sometimes that nuance is beautiful. Sometimes you’re compatible.
Usually, it’s a let-down. Because nobody can be a better match for you than the fantasy in your own head, and we need to learn to stop using daydreams as a yardstick.
Growth comes from accepting people are nuanced and determining what is compatible for you, instead o chasing the daydream (or pressuring a person to change into one).
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 days ago
No. I’m a man dating woman who constantly gets told I’m a gay homo for having emotions or having any nuance or subtley in my opinions and judgements.
like a lot of the comments on lemmy that tell me i’m a fascist because i think there is any nuance to political issues.