Nah, I’d be that guy that had just enough money to make life look easy to all the wagies. I’d have some B’s job, a nice but modest house. As those around me age prematurely from the stresses of capitalism I’ll just be there, making a good life look effortless.

Every now and then a look of pity and derision will flash across my face. My friends won’t consciously clock this. But subconsciously they’ll know. Know that I’m hashtagged blessed, and they stay up at night thinking about how to keep them bills paid.

Far douchier than a laser suit.