Comment on Pride month
davidagain@lemmy.world 1 week agoSex, I could go to the next brothel and have it 10 times a day.
Brothels are illegal in my country.
Or go on tinder and let golddiggers have it.
The vast majority of people are absolutely nowhere near rich enough to attract golddiggers.
If you’re a decently attractive woman, you’ll get it for free on tinder in 5 minutes. Or in the next bar or wherever.
I don’t know what proportion of women you believe are decently attractive, but surely you accept it isn’t 100%. Also roughly 49% of us are male, and this absolutely and unequivocally is not the experience of even decently attractive men.
I can also walk around asking anyone until I’m lucky.
This would get me slapped and possibly arrested for sexual harassment. It would definitely, definitely, definitely not work. You have to either be an unusually attractive man or alternatively be seeking sex from men for this to have any chance whatsoever of success.
I keep telling you that your experience is far from typical, and I keep telling you that we live completely different lives. You are confident that you could easily get sex if you wanted it, whenever or wherever you wanted it. I promise you 100% that I am right that your experience is NOT universal. You live in a magical world of sex availability. By contrast I live in a blessed world of readily available affection from my friends (who I chose), surrounded by family that love me, but where sex is available with frequency lower than my preference and with zero realistic chance of me getting it elsewhere.
WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Accept it please, and stop telling me I’m wrong about what my own lived experience is like. You are WRONG.
I guess you deliberately want to misunderstand me.
I don’t want to deliberately misunderstand you, I want you to hear me. Your experience of readily available sex whenever, wherever, whoever, is far from universal.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
Wow, in what horrible dark age country do you live? This is the oldest trade on earth, and those are incredibly helpful and needed in a society.
You really don’t get it. It has nothing to do with my life, my experiences or whatever. It’s just the simple logic that getting just sex is ultimately easier than getting love. It might be harder (no pun intended) depending on your laws, your own morals or your net-worth, but still way easier to find someone that loves you.
The external factors aren’t important. You might be ugly and poor and whatever, which would make tinder (or whatever people use nowadays) impossible. But even more difficult would finding love be. Of course one shouldn’t rape, obviously in a civilized society, but one still TECHNICALLY could. But there’s nothing in the world you could do to make someone love you, no matter how willing you’re to do anything.
Again, this is absolutely not about personal experience, and has nothing to do with that.
That is not really the same kind of love you’re talking about. Important too, but totally different. I, for example, have no family (except my wife) and there’s nothing I could do to get one.
davidagain@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I’m sorry, but if it boils down to you claiming that someone can have sex wherever and wherever they want because technically they could rape someone, and if your argument is that love comes harder because you can’t force anyone to love you, I absolutely come back to the we are NOT the same, and you are WRONG in more than one sense. Ready availability whenever and whenever of sex is for very attractive people and rapists. I’m neither. Stop trying to persuade me otherwise. You’re wrong.
I have a friend who explained how easy it was to get sex, and it didn’t even come close to involving rape, but no, no, that hinged on him being a different person to me physically and mentally. Surely if you were able to change yourself to be a different person physically and mentally it would be just as easy for you to find love.
Well you made a universal claim that anyone can get sex any time any where, and I think that’s true only for a minority of people, and I was just using myself as a counterexample rather than arguing generalities because I absolutely am aware of where I sit in society and roughly how often and exactly where sex is available to me, and rather than admit that your massive overgeneralisation from your stud lifestyle is untrue, you argued with me that I was incorrect. About myself even. I’m not. You are.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
Repeating myself here, but just because you seem to struggle with an absolute and universal fact, because you project yourself personally into a, as you weirdly stated, doesn’t make it less valid.
And why do keep sticking to rape. It’s one of many possibilities to get laid. By money, by time and effort, by accident, luck or even forced means. Just because YOU couldn’t AND also live in some theocratic hellhole where one couldn’t even buy it, doesn’t mean the guy next door couldn’t. Or the majority of the world. Some rare exceptions where multiple points combine to a negative, does not invalidate a general rule. The larger part of a bell-curve sure can, in whatever way. Easier for some, harder for others, but possible. Otherwise I would wonder why earth is so crowded with us humans.
Finding real romantic love though. Can’t buy it. And it’s also that one single thing that gets worse the more money you have. Be rich, end up alone. Or fake being poor until you do. Also, for the vast majority of the world, this commodity is ultimately harder to find.
BTW, here health insurance even pays for a hooker for disabled people, should they be unable otherwise to find sex. Regularly. At it is a mental health issue. And there are even specially hired prostitutes of both sexes just for that. And if you’re too poor, then state pays for insurance and still get the hookers. So not even poor, ugly, disabled and being tiny would stop you. Love though, probably chances converge to zero.
davidagain@lemmy.world 1 week ago
You are absurdly cynical about the non existence of love. Most of us don’t have to pretend to be “poor enough” to find love, nor do we have the kind of funding to purchase sex “wherever and whenever” we feel like it. You talk like you’re wealthy and handsome like Brad Pitt that you think of women as golddiggers because they’re throwing themselves at you, and you’re so fucking PRIVILEGED that you don’t even believe that the vast majority of the rest of us don’t live like you when we tell you.
Most of us have roughly the same number of sexual partners as we find people who love us, because that’s how it works for ordinary men.