It’s also one of my personal triggers because my mom always did this. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was unconscious guilty avoidance as opposed to intentionally lying, but still, I could describe the situation accurately back to her and point out what she did that was wrong (we’re not talking about a mistake or accident here, I only brought it up if it was an intentional action that hurt other members of my family) she would always have, “but they did this”, or “I thought I was helping, excuse me for caring!”