Comment on Is this how girls behave when they like you?
gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
relationships aren’t something where you can apply rules that somebody else gave you. you have to follow your own gut feeling. you’ll learn through experience, is my guess.
AskewLord@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
no, relationships have rules and patterns that are easy to figure out.
your own gut feelings are often unreliable, esp if you are not socially savvy.
that’s why people go to therapy, to learn to stop reacting with gut feelings and recognize what is actually going on, so they can respond to reality of other’s behavior rather than their emotional reaction to it. because lots of people have poor emotional reactions.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I disagree that the rules and patterns are easy to figure out. However, I agree with your point about gut feelings and therapy.
Different people can act/react in different ways, which is part of what makes these moments confusing. Sometimes gut feelings can clue you in to things you’re not consciously aware of, but in interpersonal situations gut feelings can also be colored by your own hopes, fears, and biases. Someone who likes another person may be more likely to read another’s cues as flirtatious. Similarly, someone who doesn’t like another person may read different cues as confirming that they aren’t liked in kind.
Either way, this isn’t enough information to go on. I do get a positive vibe, but what that means can vary. She could like OP romantically, or she could like OP as a colleague and friend. Assuming romantic intent too soon can be disastrous, but building a friendship in the meantime has pretty much no downsides. Personally, I’d let it simmer for a bit and see if other signs come up before making any decisions that could jeopardize either kind of relationship.
gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
in my opinion, having a gut feeling is similar/comparable to having a taste of smell.
not everybody has it. for most animals it’s the most important sense of all, since it is able to tell what food is edible/poisonous, navigate in the environment, read the emotional state of other animals nearby, …
but for some reason, some humans seem to have more or less completely lost the sense of smell. or if they still have it, it’s very reduced and can basically only differentiate a few very basic smells. the same is true for gut feelings: most animals have them and they are the major source of information and navigation for most animals in existence! (it’s not as if animals had schools, many animals aren’t even raised by their parents at all). it’s only humans that seem to have lost all senses of gut feelings, at least many people seem to have. i think i’m actually one of the few people that i know personally that still have an excellent gut feeling sense.