Comment on Might explain some of my dating missteps
FishFace@piefed.social 5 weeks agoDo they say that to the board of directors?
Employees, in a great many cases, don’t identify themselves with “the company.” If you go off on a rant about a specific race, or a specific gender, you’re damn right someone of that race or gender is going to be put off by it and interpret it as at least a bit about them.
Just flip the scenario to one where the man is complaining that “women suck” or that a white person is complaining that “black people suck” to their black date. And they can’t even - from the sounds of things - cough up a “present company excepted” - which you might well see doesn’t actually make it OK.
Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Like if you follow your example I don’t think the response is generally “I’m upset because you think I’m bad” but rather a declining respect for person.
The other thing is in dating women usually want to identify violent men (which a portion of men are) so you do want to trip their anger while you’re still in public and see how they respond. So I think that in a dating scenario specifically the role reversal becomes nonsensical (there’s just statistically less violent women to suss out so the the dynamics on what’s being evaluated is different).
FishFace@piefed.social 5 weeks ago
If we’re supposed to excuse people being shitty because they might be performing some sniff test for anger, the test doesn’t work.
Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
Ew… As if I want my date to just make me angry for funsies… God modern dating is so gross!
Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I mean as somebody with way too many siblings, angry for funsies is real for a section of society.
Saying upsetting things on a date is generally a red flag but society I think has pushed people into doing it by rewarding the narcissist sociopaths in our society disproportionately for generations