Comment on Do "chest pillows" hurt for women to do?
ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 months agoIf you've never read up on "attachment styles," I found that concept to be extremely helpful. There's a book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Dating that I found great, despite feeling a bit silly over the title.
otp@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
It seems like they’re alluding to “love languages”, but I believe attachment styles are something else
ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 months ago
It's similar, but not quite the same. For example, an avoidant attachment style will tend to avoid getting close, an anxious attachment style will fear being abandoned. Put them together and you get a constant cycle of the anxious person drawing close to the avoidant person. The avoidant person pulls away. The anxious person eventually gets wounded. Now the avoidant person turns on the love mode to draw them back in. Rinse and repeat. It's awful.
That's a simplified version. But that's the basic gist. It's how you operate in relationships from a fundamental level, more than what makes you feel loved.