Still not understanding what would prevent you from both selecting primary. A US company cannot reach into a whole other company’s employee records, right? Not without you volunteering that info. I suppose it might be legal to require that info as a condition of that specific type of leave, knowing the US lol. Or if the leave is arranged through the state or shared third-party HR platform I could see how that might automatically sync up.

The place I work for barely knows my wife and kid exist because they’re on my insurance plan. They don’t know if my wife even works, nevermind who she works for and how much time off she’s taking. I just am having trouble trying to imagine giving that level of detail voluntarily unless my arm was twisted.