Okay so the timelines were quite simplified.

She didn’t change immediately after getting pregnant, but after she got me to agree that we should keep it. Initially I wanted her to get an abortion. Not that it’s my choice, but I told her I don’t think I’m ready to raise a child.

So this actually happened once or twice like 2 months into the relationship and and then another time a few months after the birth, but then she told me I was too harsh on her clit that time, after which I decided that I’d rather not do anything to her without her being awake to give me feedback.