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Comment on How do you feel about a 25 year old dating a 46 year old?

fizzle@quokk.au ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

Forgive me but, describing age as “a useful proxy” just sounds like shitty behavior to me. I’m not trying to say you’re a shitty person, just that your comment seems to be sane-washing prejudism.

FWIW I agree. A 50 year old guy “dating” a 25 year old woman has an increased likelihood that a power imbalance exists. However, it’s still profiling and prejudiced and a generalisation.

For example, domestic violence may be more prevalent among indigenous communities, but suggesting that indigenous status is “a useful proxy” for a determination that domestic violence is more likely is obviously inappropriate.

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FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

FWIW I agree. A 50 year old guy “dating” a 25 year old woman has an increased likelihood that a power imbalance exists. However, it’s still profiling and prejudiced and a generalization.

It’s not prejudiced at all. a key component of something be a prejudice is that it is unfair, or is somehow unreasonable, etc, and that it is not based in fact. As you yourself noted, there is significant reason to believe such a large age gap may prove to be problematic.

I think the technical term is ‘risk factor’, if you prefer that.

And yes, significant age gaps are significant risk factors for a toxic relationship. it’s not the age itself, necessarily, but it increases the potential for things that are absolutely abusive, and if your doctors know about it, they’re going to be fielding more detailed questions to determine if there’s a problem. And family might be people who have something to say about it as well. That’s not inappropriate.

And it’s not really “profiling” either. That’s an investigative tactic of collection information about a person. profiling becomes problematic with the information is their race (or something to that effect) and their race becomes the justification for extra attention.

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GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
The line I use is, “If I was going to bet on this situation, I’d bet against it, but it’s not enough information to make a good judgement in this case.” Much like age differences or wealth differences in relationships, or indigenous status and domestic abuse. If that’s all the info you have.

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