She knows I wasn’t expecting to live past 40 because at the time that we met I had no pension or plans for old age. I figured what’s the point in doing that if I’m not going to be around.
What no one knows is the stupid and reckless things I did, basically I was trying to off myself but make it look like an accident.

We are each other’s rocks though. If I have a bad time then I’ll go to her and explain, but I prefer to be her rock. It drives me to be there for her, and certain others. She deserves to have the best and most happy life, and that’s my job to provide it. Yet she knows that I’ll go to her if necessary.