Hugs.

Here are a few things that have helped me when grieving. Take or leave

• something really small that’s just nice that you can either look forward to or savour. Ginger tea or sweet black tea - just sipping and enjoying is my go to. Or finding a eucalyptus and just putting my hand on it and saying good morning. Tiny tiny tiny little rituals.
• use some external thing to drown out the rumination. For me that’s ABC late night radio, a few really low stakes podcasts (dear Hank and John is my current one) yoga lectures, audiobooks. Just something I can listen to and not the thoughts. I call it constructive disassociation.
• on audiobooks the ABC listen app has a whole heap of free classics as audiobooks. Classics are great because they are a bit dull. I read all of Asimov’s books and others when my sister was dying
• emergency relief. Sure you know the basic panic attack stuff. Look up humming breath and ujjayi breath. Lie on your back with legs up (e.g. resting on bed) or in fetal position with cushion between legs and do one of these. The noise helps calm .
• I will pop more thoughts in if anything helps. You know the basics - sleep, water, food, sun, move. But these are some little weird things that have helped. Also I sometimes set a timer. I will crap into bed and curl up. Set alarm for 15 mins. Feel it all for an amount of time the get up shower/move/glass of water and big breath. The timer is more about permission to let go then “you must be done and up again now” if that makes sense. The trick is letting it out/integrate while still living in the littlest of ways.