Comment on Anon is terminally lonely
Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 days ago
I was very depressed and traumatized when I met my boyfriend. He helped me through so much shit. We took the sickness part of in sickness and health first. Honestly, I sometimes wonder how fucking weird we are, because the first 4ish years of our relationship was on hard mode. I don’t understand how I managed to meet the one man on the planet who’d willingly go into a relationship with a suicidal person and be like: yeah. This will be forth it.
But yeah, things improved. And they got better. And they kept getting better. Around the ten year mark covid hit and we were stuck in lockdown. That became the fertile ground for the honeymoon phase we never got to have in the first couple of years of our relationship. It lasted three years. Just nonstop romance and then we calmed down a bit, but things didn’t go back to what they had been. We had permanently leveled up and I think this is how it should have felt like all this time. Granted, life is still hard and there are still ups and downs, but it feels so much better now. Im grateful that we got to have the honeymoon phase. I always wanted to have that with him because he’s such a wonderful person.
I know that depression is differnet for everybody, but I do hope that someone like Anon gets to experience what I have experienced.
D_C@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Alright, stop showing off. Crikey!!
On a more serious note, nice one.
In my twenties and very early thirties I was convinced (and planned) to be dead by 40. I figured what’s the point of getting old etc AND being depressed etc etc.
Then I met my now wife and everything changed. She didn’t know the true extent of how bad I was, and mostly still doesn’t. No one does because I was a master at hiding it.
To everyone else I was the life of the party, the comic who made everyone laugh etc etc.
I still have my ups and downs, but that’s life. I spend every day trying to make her life better, which doesn’t always happen. But, again, that’s life.
Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 days ago
Have you ever considered opening up to her about it? I know it can be really scary, but you don’t have to be alone with those things. I still have things I struggle to open up to my boyfriend about, but we work on it and he’s also gotten better at opening up to me when he has things that weighs on him. It makes it easier to help each other getting through things if you know what the other is carrying around. And I know how hard it is for men especially to be vulnerable, but it might actually help you. And as a woman, I can tell you that it feels truly special when your man opens up to you about things that hurt. It only makes me love mine more whenever he leans on me for emotional support. Yesterday I listened to him for an hour talking about stresses at work and while he couldn’t tell me specifics due to a vow of silence, he still expressed how heavy it was for him and that, that’s why he’s been super tired lately. I could hear in his voice that it eased his heart a bit to be able to talk about it and know I was listening and there with him even if I didn’t know the specifics. It made me happy to know that he felt a bit better after that talk. Especially since he’s always there for me and always supporting me when I’m stumbling. He’s a very independent man and handles his own shit most of the time. Doesn’t want to burden me, but I want to be burdened. I want to know what he struggles with so he doesn’t have to be alone.
I dunno, I think that your wife may really appreciate to know how you feel so she can be there for you when you need her 🤗 it might also be a relief for you to know that you don’t have to carry all that by yourself.
D_C@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
She knows I wasn’t expecting to live past 40 because at the time that we met I had no pension or plans for old age. I figured what’s the point in doing that if I’m not going to be around.
What no one knows is the stupid and reckless things I did, basically I was trying to off myself but make it look like an accident.
We are each other’s rocks though. If I have a bad time then I’ll go to her and explain, but I prefer to be her rock. It drives me to be there for her, and certain others. She deserves to have the best and most happy life, and that’s my job to provide it. Yet she knows that I’ll go to her if necessary.
Nangijala@feddit.dk 2 days ago
I’m glad to hear this <3 In general, it just makes me so happy to know that you and your wife found one another. By your description, you both sound like lovely people!