Comment on Anon observes a coworker
hector@lemmy.today 1 week agoI suppose that’s true, but I know many people think their hints are obvious, when they aren’t to a great many of us, at least in the moment after the fact we might realize someone hinted at us. People are dense at times, not just autists either. So maybe they thought they had been clear in their rejection of their attention but it wasn’t picked up on?
I mean I have been hit on by people I’ve no interest in, and I’ve never been so rude. I’ve also asked people out and had them rudely say no when a more polite way would have been appreciated, and they might have thought hints were clear, but they weren’t to me at all. And I’m not alone in being slow to take the hints, men in general are slow to get such hints by woman they are rather known for it as I understand it.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 week ago
If she asked if she was annoying, she knew on some level.
When I was younger, I used to get so annoyed at hinting disinterest rather than outright stating it, but I eventually realized that if someone is interested and doesn’t have barriers to getting involved, they won’t be coy about it. If they are busy but otherwise interested in a date when asked, they’ll usually say more than “I have plans that day”, like “but I’m free on x day” or “maybe another time?” or “I’d love to go on a date with you but can’t that specific time”.
If they are evasive at all about it, they are either not interested in general and are just trying to be polite (NOT really for your sake, so don’t start about how you’d rather they be clear, it’s to protect themselves from the pieces of shit that get aggressive when they realize they don’t have a chance), or they have other shit going on that complicates any interest (like it’s hard for them to schedule a date ahead of time because they are already in a relationship and need a good excuse to get away for a date).