An 11 year old having SEX THOUGHTS? Speaking in MEMES!?
WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO
Comment on "Without carrying out any actual hacking, simply by logging in with an arbitrary Google account"
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days agoIn my experience, absolutely not. And it’s not about sheltering kids. It’s about teachable moments. My spouse and I review the conversations my kids are having with their friends a couple times a month and I know a few other parents are doing the same. There’s so much harassment and bullying that IMO you are being a negligent parent if you don’t review and step in. We don’t need social interactions to be unhealthy and feign ignorance when they grow up to be a shitty person.
Kids are kids. They aren’t fully developed, they are impulsive, and groups of kids are just exponentially dumber. IMO empathy should not be treated as a natural skill. It can be taught and that requires often requires lessons, teachable moments, and correcting course. I’d say the toughest is the group texts with their friends.
My 11 year old was having super obnoxious “meme conversations” a couple weeks ago, often with unintended sexual inuendos. I can’t imagine that someone else is going to tell me I’m violating her privacy by being proactive. We discussed the memes and how they should conduct themselves in conversations. Another time, we saw her agreeing with a bullying conversation from another kid. We’re going to step in because that’s not a healthy conversation.
BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
That’s somewhat my point. They were not having those thoughts, but using memes in a way that it could be construed.
BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
If they didn’t know is there any real harm? Maybe later on they’ll learn and have a cringy memory to come back to.
Downvotes on my previous comment are suspicious. We’re on one of the most privacy minded communities there is and they’re supporting actively going through the personal messages of an 11 year old kid.
My parents would not have liked what conversations I had at 11, but knowing that I could express myself without someone hawking through my every thought.
If I was in your kid’s situation, I would never share anything with you. Having the thought police actively hanging over my every conversation would be a nightmare.
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Well my kid was texting other middle age kids from her school. There’s already been cases of kids screenshotting conversations that are just “between friends” to share with others. I also have no idea what those kids are aware of – maybe they have seen these movies and understand the memes better than she does.
Yeah, there is a shit load of potential harm. Are you not aware of cyber bullying? Are you not aware of how mean kids can be? You think kids fully understand gaslighting, manipulation, and scams? Most adults don’t understand this, and this privacy forum thinks I should just let the events unfold randomly for my kids? I am not being a helicopter parent simply by monitoring and educating my kids. I understand the stereotype. I discuss science, philosophy, politics, finances, privacy, anonymity, permanence of digital communications, atheism, world tragedies, case studies in exploitation/scams, and dozens of other topics with my kids.
My spouse and I are both sex positive, so it’s not that it’s something we “dislike” our kids discovering. Frankly, we are excellent parents because it’s something we value, discuss, and try to be intentional about. But thinking they will just intuitively navigate digital communication is very naive. We have an excellent relationship and I I’ll do my best to keep making it stronger. I hope they will feel comfortable coming to me for any topic, including sex. I’ll basically be setting them up with a much better understanding of the values of privacy than 99% of parents.
But kids are dumb. You can’t just lecture at them. They are learning, but they are dumb, and will make mistakes as they learn. Why would I not be involved in that?
I appreciate the conversation. I fully expected a lot of downvotes on an anonymous privacy sub about kids not having privacy. It doesn’t bother me. Someone asked an interesting question about the intersection of kids and privacy, and it’s a topic I am passionate about. So yeah, I am happy to defend my choices as a parent if there’s more questions even if it goes against the norms of the community.
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 days ago
And now you’re outing your child’s private conversations to the general public?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Last I checked this is an anonymous platform. I also generally rotate accounts when it feels relevant. You have a problem speaking about generalities in a public platform? The more specific example seemed necessary to clarify the discussion.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
OH NO, CUM? EWWWWWWW
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Middle schoolers don’t need to be sexting classmates, even if it is accidental. Are you a moron every day or just today?
BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Sending suggestive memes unintentionally suggestive is not sexting.
I guess every day but nowhere near as much as you.
MotoAsh@piefed.social 3 days ago
You know, you COULD just teach your kids to trust you, and give them reasons to trust you, so that they’ll come to you when they need advice…
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I think you’re missing the major thesis of my comment. This is not at all about trust. For example, they literally do not understand when they are behaving like a bully. It requires educating them. They don’t understand when they are being rude sometimes. They don’t understand many aspects of culture, why would they? I’m not going to let middle school group dynamics shape my kids moral compass. Empathy needs to be taught, sometimes very explicitly.
I’m sure they will come to us for advice and help, and I also know they won’t come going to us for everything, which is fine. But I’m not going to half ass raising my kids. That goes for dozens of topics.
MotoAsh@piefed.social 3 days ago
So you do not trust your local school or its educators to observe and step in on things as utterly common as bullying?
Hellicopter parent is still a fucking complement compared to your behavior…
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 days ago
This is the cringiest thing I’ve read this week.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
Yikes…
Klox@lemmy.world 3 days ago
lmao. Sure buddy. My kids are fantastic and they are becoming amazing people. Good luck with your life.