200 foreskins. It’s in the spoiler. Saul said to David, “Get me 100 foreskins if you wanna bang my daughter.”

David was like shit, I gotta impress dad and god. I’ll kill double the amount of living breathing people just so I can cum in a lady I’m horny for.

Nevermind that Saul was motivated by fear that David was becoming more popular by winning battles. Saul gave the task because he hopped David would die or fail. The way this is spun in Sunday school is that David was honoring god by showing he could overcome difficult tasks. David was honoring god by killing 200 people and slicing up some peepee.

Now take a bite of turkey and stare your uncle directly in the eye, asking through a mouth full of food, “You circumcised?”