Comment on Anon tells a true story

• j4k3@piefed.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You don’t understand what I have said. The idea that people must partner is nonsense. I am not required to be a beggar. Implying that everyone must pair is nonsense. I do not care where people meet. Being happy with yourself if far more critical when it comes to building a good relationship. I have been in many long term relationships. When I was young, I made the mistake of thinking I had to “find someone” and compromise. That was one of my dumbest moves in life. The idea that this is normal is idiotic and a main reason people get in terrible situations in life. Work on you first, then you will find someone that intersects your life in naturally compatible ways. If not, that is fine too. Going looking only results in finding people that like to go looking. That results in misery unless you want to spend your life looking.

  You are also inferring that my preferred sexual orientation as asexual is invalid. That prejudice is offensive to me in its primitive lack of self awareness and depth.

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  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The idea that people must partner is nonsense.

    True, which is why I never wrote that. But many people really want to be with a partner and suffer if they aren’t, and thus if they have very limited options they are “beggars” in the context of that situation using the language of that saying.

    You are also inferring that my preferred sexual orientation as asexual is invalid.

    No, the issue is that you take your preference/situation as universal. Just because it’s true for you doesn’t mean it’s also true for anon, or that’s it’s not even worth the risk to find out.

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    • j4k3@piefed.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That is where you are projecting nonsense into my words. I only speak for me and my experience. I never presume to speak for anyone else. I know what I do not know. I never claimed something was universal. I claimed that your universal is offensive and prejudiced me while trying not to be confrontational about that. If you wish to experience the misery I went through that is entirely up to you. Such is not universal. An intelligent person learns from their mistakes. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others. If they choose to listen or ask questions, sharing my experience gives others the chance at wisdom from what I have learned the hard way. I believe toxic and harmful relationships are universally bad. You are welcome to dispute that if you would like. If you are advocating for harming others, such spurious sadism is rather malevolent and disgusting from a sadistic type of person that lacks many levels of self awareness. That is most unlikely. Much more likely is the possibility you are projecting your own misery onto others, and if that is the case, I am sorry for your misfortune. I do not wish to state what is or is not. I am aware I do not know you and I certainly do not wish to steal your narrative voice.

      For someone in a position like myself, I am not conventionally disabled. I am fully mobile, but unable to sit up or stand for more than a few minutes. Both are the same to me. I must stay laying down most of the time. I cannot even get dressed and travel someplace and retain any meaningful part of myself. I am in constant pain that never fades, and I will die young and in terrible misery. I love some stranger I have never met enough to avoid them. I do not wish to be their burden, to watch me falling apart and die young. There is no foolish fate in the world. No one is at a loss if I abstain. That is a special circumstance. Still for others, before I was like this, I would have been much better off if I had simply explored my curiosity and interests. The people I met along that path were many orders of magnitude better for me than those I found while looking.

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