Comment on Why does everyone here think they're autistic or ADHD? The memes all describe normal human foibles.
Bluefruit@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Typically the difference is that people with autism and or ADHD experience things more frequently or more intensely than others.
Yes, all these things are normal for most folks, but how often and the severity of these symptoms are diffrent.
For example, I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms of that is I’m easily distracted. For most people, this would sound fairly normal, but even when its something important, or something I want to do, my brain is moving on to a billion other things all at once rather than focusing on the task at hand. Medication helps immensely with this, but it still happens even on my meds at times. That is not normal.
Also the autism spectrum is a spectrum for a reason. Some people appear to cope better than others and some can’t cope at all. Masking is normal but for someone with autism it can be exhausting because some people with autism never stop masking. They are constantly aware they aren’t “normal” and it stresses them out.
Its hard to understand these kinds of feelings if you’re Neurotypical. Our brains work differently from others, which might sound like “I’m special” but honestly, I’d rather not have ADHD. Shit sucks dude. I fucking hate not being able to do things like a normal person. Its a curse.
People ive met with ADHD or autism, its just nice to be seen and feel like were understood which is why these memes are often posted or are popular with those crowds.
Invertedouroboros@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Dude with autism chiming in here. I often compare it to being “born without a user manual”. Ever since I was a kid it was like everyone around me just knew what to do without being told while I had to have even the most basic things explained to me. This is far worse in social situations because sometimes there are feelings on the line and often people just don’t think enough about social cues to properly explain them.
I’m the kind of autistic that can pass as neurotypical with relative ease, but getting there was a real trial and error kind of process and I can’t really say it was great for my mental health. The comment I’m responding to talked about how you never stop masking and how your constantly aware your not normal. That’s what’s fucked me up historically. “You’re not normal so figure out how to at least pretend” was the bat I used to beat myself with and among neurodivergent folks that’s probably depressingly common.
Sometimes when I talk to folks about this they’ll say something along the lines of “well if masking takes so much effort just stop doing it, I don’t mind”. And man do I wish I could sometimes. But when you learn how to do that basically from the start “masking”, or at least some of the tools and behaviors associated with it, become fundamental to how you interact with the world. This isn’t just something we can turn off or on like a lightswitch. This is something that we’re constantly locked into. Sometimes it feels like just existing takes effort. And when that’s your baseline? There’s just not space for a lot else.
Like Bluefruit said, it’s a matter of degrees. You can be neurotypical and feel this way sometimes too. At it’s core, none of these feelings are special or inherently neurodivergent. It’s the degree to which we feel them that’s different. That and frequency. Everyone’s had to preform for a job interview or something. But having to preform constantly, even for loved ones? It can get to be pretty rough.