Comment on fragile masculinity
ThisOne@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Eh funny but untrue. The dudes I know who are plant people grow anything cool. Ive got a lot of weird and cool plants.
I do grow the super hot peppers, and i like feeding ticks to my carnivorous plants tho. So its not far off.
I also grow tomatoes, eggplants, garlic, cuces, squash, etc.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 days ago
it’s true in experience. I’m a single guy. I date around. Most women I meet think gardening makes me queer. It is not considered a desirable hobby for a man. And many men who don’t garden, also think it’s queer/feminine.
People who do garden, don’t see it that way, of course. But every garden group I’ve ever met up with was 70% women, and most of the men were not ‘manly’.
jimmux@programming.dev 2 days ago
I grew up assuming every adult should be self-sufficient, so I learnt all of cooking, cleaning, gardening, basic repairs, home maintenance, sewing, etc. I think the most likely people to have a problem with that never learnt it themselves, so they feel inadequate.
It became an issue in my first serious relationship because she didn’t cook or clean much. She definitely never tried to nurture so much as a plant. I had no problem with that because I could, but she started to feel less feminine, and eventually turned it around on me. The guys she left me for were completely useless, but they didn’t highlight her insecurities so she was happy. At least for a short while.
People who are confident in their identity and abilities don’t do this, and that’s who you want to find anyway, regardless of gender.
fireweed@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Traditionally it’s been similar to cooking:
Farmer/chef? That’s a man’s work.
Gardener/home cook? That’s a woman’s work.
Fortunately we’ve got shows like the Great British Bake Off and a myriad of popular YouTube gardening and home cooking channels featuring men to help shake this up, but sadly it’s still something that’s seen as gendered by way too many folks. Still, if spicy peppers and cacti (and on the cooking side dishes like pizza) help get insecure men in the door, that’s great. But I’m with TTF: it may not be a strong stereotype, but I’ve also observed it.
TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 2 days ago
What is farming if not gardening at scale?
fireweed@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Like most unnecessarily-gendered things, this thinking falls apart under the slightest hint of logical scrutiny…
StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 2 days ago
That’s sad