Comment on How to separate self-worth from Achievements and External Validation?

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Havatra@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

I have to disagree a bit with the efficacy of this method.

I myself have been told that I’m very understanding for people who try and learn something new, or do something I already know how to. However when the roles are switched, I can’t help but to hold myself to a higher standard than I hold others, and I end up pissing on myself for having such a hard time doing something others seem to have such an easy time with. Personal example is learning a language: I’m such a slow learner, still being A1 after three years, while I have a friend who got to B1 in 9 months. And I keep thinking things like “why do I struggle so much retaining this simple information? I must be putting a weak effort into this…”, while my friends are like “Keep going! You’re doing great!”. I can’t help but consider it mocking, like “aw, it’s adorable that you try so hard, and are still a noob!”, even though that is something neither of us actually think.

It works well as a form of motivation though, albeit slightly toxic.

I try to compare myself with my previous self, but that I find near-impossible, for some reason.

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