Comment on How to separate self-worth from Achievements and External Validation?
canadaduane@lemmy.ca 16 hours ago
How you judge others is how you judge yourself. Practice being kind in your judgment of others, and you will find it becomes natural to be kind in how you judge yourself.
What you value, praise, attend to in others’ lives is what you value, praise, and eventually attend to in your own life. Be curious about others lives, don’t assume they have it figured out. This will lead to natural curiosity of your own life, and you will find there are many kinds of achievement and each leads to a way to value yourself. (Achievement is not one-dimensional–money & career is only one kind of achievement).
Havatra@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
I have to disagree a bit with the efficacy of this method.
I myself have been told that I’m very understanding for people who try and learn something new, or do something I already know how to. However when the roles are switched, I can’t help but to hold myself to a higher standard than I hold others, and I end up pissing on myself for having such a hard time doing something others seem to have such an easy time with. Personal example is learning a language: I’m such a slow learner, still being A1 after three years, while I have a friend who got to B1 in 9 months. And I keep thinking things like “why do I struggle so much retaining this simple information? I must be putting a weak effort into this…”, while my friends are like “Keep going! You’re doing great!”. I can’t help but consider it mocking, like “aw, it’s adorable that you try so hard, and are still a noob!”, even though that is something neither of us actually think.
It works well as a form of motivation though, albeit slightly toxic.
I try to compare myself with my previous self, but that I find near-impossible, for some reason.
pugnaciousfarter@literature.cafe 2 hours ago
Yeah, but it only works so much. Then it’s just a voice that’s bullying you.