Comment on do you apologize, even if it's not your fault just to make the other person feel validated?
thefactremains@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You don’t need to apologize to take ownership of your impact.
When partners acknowledge how their words and actions affect the other (regardless of intent) they make the relationship safer, more responsive, and more connected.
Ownership is acknowledging the effects of your behavior, not absorbing all blame or excusing harmful behavior from either partner.
It sounds like “When I did X, the impact on you was Y…here’s what I’ll do differently,” which lowers defensiveness and invites collaboration on solutions.
dustyData@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s funny, because that is the exact apology formula that is taught by therapists. That is a proper apology. The word sorry is actually optional. Many people say they’re sorry but don’t actually apologize. Because they don’t acknowledge their own actions. An apology is an action, not mere words. Saying sorry without change in your actions might fulfill social norms but it is detrimental to all relationships and it makes you seem less trustworthy going forward.