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Comment on I'm on the spectrum. How do I live the rest of my life?
Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months agoYour coworkers do it to you and if frustrates you, but you’re doing it to them which frustrates them.
They openly admit to doing the bad behavior back to them.
why I don’t talk more, why they feel offended if I answer asking why they talk so much
There is no need to go for confrontation, asking why someone talks so little might just be a way of trying to include them in a group or getting to know them, and it sounds like OP just responds as hostile as possible. They could just say “I’m comfortable talking little” or whatever.
vestmoria@linux.community 10 months ago
Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
You’re doing what they do to you back to them. This is not hard to understand. You don’t like it, so they don’t like it. You’re essentially “proving your point” by taking revenge. The only thing they hear is that you’re taking revenge.
If it was about boundaries, you could say something along the lines “I don’t like these kind of questions, I am perfectly comfortable being quiet, with this question you make it sound like something is wrong about it. I get this question all the time and I don’t want to answer it anymore.”
the_q@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
This is you making assumptions based on your perceptions. In fact it reads as a defense of their, the NTs, action’s through the lens of your experience meaning this is how you treat others and don’t assume any responsibility because you’re being “nice”. OPs response isn’t necessarily one they choose; it is likely a reaction, and while they do have responsibility in that type of response, it isn’t all on them. If someone comes up to you and slaps you across the face are you going to be like “oh thank you and nice to meet you”? It’s a bit of an extreme example, but the input onslaught that is social interactions to certain people may as well be a slap in the face. Again, you’re framing this whole issue from your own experience.
Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Two things.
For most people, asking “why do you talk so little?” is not a slap in the face, it is an attempt at inclusion. It gets interpreted as a slap in the face. As such, your example is not right.
Secondly, when we expect people to take our autistic sensibilities into account, I think it is entirely fair to take their sensibilities into account as well. Most people do not rub autistic people the wrong way on purpose. We do not rub them the wrong way on purpose. Yet it makes sense for both parties to take the other parties sensibilities into account. Since one can only control oneself, one should start this behavior with oneself.