Comment on [deleted]

• reactionality@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It isn’t being controlled if you don’t go.

  Otherwise you’re being a good little dog who does as he’s told.

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  • neatchee@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is a petulant way to approach life, and perfectly fits the idiom “throwing the baby out with the bath water”.

    It is possible to set boundaries without being deliberately contrarian and resistant to any form of outside pressure.

    IMO the best possible solution here is to refuse to speak further about it with their dad, but go on the date and have a great time hanging out with a random stranger for a little bit.

    To put it more simply: if you’re hungry and I bring you sandwich and demand that you eat it, telling me “leave the sandwich, I’ll eat it if I want, but I’m not giving you the satisfaction of knowing or seeing me eat it because of how you approached me” is the smart move.

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    • reactionality@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      To put it more simply: if you’re hungry and I bring you sandwich and demand that you eat it, telling me “leave the sandwich, I’ll eat it if I want, but I’m not giving you the satisfaction of knowing or seeing me eat it because of how you approached me” is the smart move.

      You’re not fooling anyone if you do it “out of sight” lmao. It’s just bending your head down to someone who thinks that they are in a position of power over you and can lord you around. Fuck that. And fuck the dad for insinuating the son needs to do whatever the hell he wants him to do.

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      • neatchee@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I feel bad for all the opportunities you’re going to miss while you’re more interested in modeling your life based on the behavior and opinions of others instead of what is good and satisfying for you, independent of others. I hope one day you are able to move past whatever anger is driving you to prioritize rebellion over utility.

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  • FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No, if you don’t go because someone set it up for you, you’re still letting yourself being controlled.

    If you go because you want to go, you’re not being controlled.

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  • testfactor@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hey man, you should be happy and live your best life. Do things that make you happy with people you love.

    Hahahaha, now if you do it, you’re just doing what I told you to do like a little lapdog. Stupid sheep.

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• shplane@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The dad literally said “no objections”. Sounds like he’s trying to control his child. Even if the kid can say no, the dad is still being an asshole.

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  • FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You can’t tell that from one text exchange. Yes, it’s possible, but it’s also possible that they’re just trying to motivate their son to try something new.

    It’s only being controlling if there’s a pattern and you acquiesce. We don’t know that’s the case.

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    • shplane@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Have fun and evolve

      There’s another snide line. Even if we only have a couple texts to go off of, that kind of dialogue is rarely effective and usually comes from shit people

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