I mean, I could imagine that response from some of my girls, too. But they’re the sweet ones. They make me smile.

The spicy ones are funnier, though. Because, like, the whole joke is that we’re in a jealous, insecure, toxic, traditional relationship. The farcical nature of this assumption is what makes it funny. I would probably continue the conversation with:

“My new side piece. She has a better ass than you. Better catch up. 😘”

To which one of my partners would respond something like:

“Like your autistic ass could even get a girl with a better ass than me. Actually… remind me why I’m with you again…?”

“My dick”

etc.

Even then, I’m not insecure to compare myself to aristocratic ideals by a monopolist corporation that hates free press.

wat