Comment on Most of you are alright but some of you are just ok

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felsiq@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

I’m not sure if I agree with this, imo morals and common sense are what people should follow and if society’s expectations can’t justify themselves using either then it’s the expectations that need to be adjusted. Living by expectations is too close to allowing outside shame to dictate your life for me personally, religions have weaponized that shit against us for too long already. In the not-too-distant past (and present, some places), following the expectations of society would mean LGBTQ+ people spending their lives closeted and unhappy and for what? Who benefits when people are afraid to step off the beaten path?

IMO the only social expectations that matter are the ones that can be backed up by moral or logical points, like not littering and treating other people like human beings with feelings, and if they need external justification to matter then clearly it’s not the expectations that are the relevant part. We have a lot of bullshit expectations we live with simply because we’re used to them, and breaking these expectations shouldn’t be occasional exceptions - it should just be what we do if we feel like it.

Someone was telling me about how she polices her daughter’s clothing recently and “has to” stop her from wearing stripes and polka dots together, and like… I get bonding with your kid by teaching them things, in this case fashion, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing to do. But also, like, let lil girl rock her weird little shit if she wants to, what’s the harm? The social expectations are just stifling her experimentation with style, and they’re doing literally no good to anybody. Modern society crushes and commercializes your individuality anyway, it doesn’t need help.

Anyway sorry for hitting you with a huge rant outta nowhere but being authentic to yourself is a core belief of mine (where it’s not toxic to do so, anyway) and I’ve wasted literally years of my life trying to figure out what’s actually me and what’s just social expectations I was unconsciously shaped by, so this shit activates my sleeper agent mode lmao

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