Comment

Comment on Discussion Thread 🪗 Saturday 5 July 2025

melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

Ahhh. That’s manipulative as hell. She refuses to communicate a want or a need and then uses the lack of it as a weapon. This isn’t about the dog, it’s about control.

Also the things your dad says to you are emotional abuse.

I’m sorry if I’ve ever been unintentionally insensitive towards you in the past because holy shit.

I need you to know that none of this is your fault and nothing your family thinks or says of you is true. It might be a really good idea to prioritise whatever career will be stable and well paid enough that you have the choice to move out and be independent from them.

Also you might want to know that being raised like this means you’re less likely to spot abusive people or identify behaviours as abuse. And there is a danger of you internalising it and blaming yourself for it rather than clocking it and getting out of Dodge.

source

Sort:hotnew top

LowExperience2368@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
spoiler
Don’t worry, you haven’t been insensitive at all. In fact, when I was in a shitty relationship and posted about it on here, you replied to my post, and I took a screenshot of it and read it often to remind myself that what I was dealing with was not good for me. I really appreciate all the advice you’ve given me. I feel as though abuse is a loaded term, and I see it more as dysfunction. I’m dealing with people who mean well, but are misguided and express it in the wrong ways. Just like I don’t mean for them to be annoyed when I talk too much. I just want connection. My dad tells me that he loves me and wants the best for me, but has thrown the other stuff on top when he’s upset. I have spoken about this to my psych, and we are going to do an appointment with them so she can talk about how they can better support me. To be honest though, I’m tired and I think my parents are tired. I haven’t spent quality time with my mum in ages, because she used to be a SAHM and her life revolved around my sister and I, and being a housewife. Moving out could definitely help set a boundary so that our interactions involve quality time.

source
- melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  spoiler
  That’s good, I’m glad. Dysfunction might be a better word, yes. But these behaviours are sending up red flags and I can see you’re feeling the strain. If it’s a stable option and something you can cope with it might give everyone some breathing room. Hopefully. Just be warned if people feel like you’re pulling away from them, or they’re losing control over you or the situation, their behaviours might escalate. ___
  
  source