Comment on What are some good places/activities where a middle-aged man can new make friends?
cRazi_man@europe.pub 1 day agoI’m at a similar age and have similar interests. I’ve not been successful. I’ve done what others suggest, but not many people are making a genuine connection. Meetup.com ends up being an activity for the meet up and not connection outside. Conventions and gaming makes people get together for the event…but again little interest outside that.
Some of this might be a skill issue. Some of this has to do with how incredibly socially reserved the British are (all my ongoing friends are with non-British people while loving in England, because they’re the ones who will accept invites and meet up again). Some of this has to do with having interests that hardly anyone shares IRL.
Good luck.
lordnikon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah i so get you dude. It’s funny you bring up being British. I’m half English and have the same problem when I go to cons. Like I went to the local Vintage Computer Festival South West. People were nice but just could never get anyone make the jump to genuine connection.
Being on crutches I think puts it on hard mode. As people ether consciously or unconsciously just don’t want to deal with disabled people. I feel that is less an issue in the UK but in the states most people are down right hostile sometimes to disabled people.
aislopmukbang@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Oh man I was the guy that said “Just go to cons” above but I see what you’re saying. Genuine connections take time.
One way I have really had some luck is just messaging friends I haven’t talked to in a while to check in on them. Most don’t reply but sometimes one does. One guy I messaged after not seeing him in 20 years and now we hang out every other week.
Maybe there is no winning strategy, just gotta be persistent.
lordnikon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah it’s a good plan if you can do it. But with moving around allot I don’t really have those old friends in the area. It’s regretful now but as a teen and up to my early twenties. I was of a mind set I’m just going to move in a few years anyway might as well stick to myself. I was that kid in high-school that just did his work didn’t bother anyone. Then just disappeared without you really noticing him. You might have asked to barrow a pen in class.
cRazi_man@europe.pub 1 day ago
Shit dude, that sounds terrible with people giving you attitude for mobility aids.
I haven’t tried clubs (book club, warhammer, etc) and haven’t tried hobby classes.
I’ve had postgraduate formal classes, but that had mature students who had young families that they were keen to get back to (rather than hanging out).
lordnikon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Thanks dude, i will im used to the overtly hostile people. It’s the people that don’t even realize they do it that kills me. Because that’s not them being assholes that’s the systematic bias built by our society as a whole.