That’s just not true. Open relationships do exist (I’ve seen several work out nicely) but the overall opinion on them in most cultures is they’re weird, doomed or plain wrong and evil. Unless it is normalized that sex is not something fatal, it’s ok among consenting adults, we won’t move to a really sexually tolerant society.
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Kacarott@aussie.zone 6 days agoYour exact same argument could be made for murder, for sex crimes, for hate crimes, etc. Just because some people might occasionally want to commit these acts, does not make them okay, because they hurt people.
Open relationships already exist. There is no limit on what kind of relationship you can define with your partner, so there is absolutely no “necessity of lying and cheating”. That is just an excuse for people who don’t give a shit about hurting people.
angrystego@lemmy.world 6 days ago
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 6 days ago
What does it matter though? Do what you want, I don’t see why society as a whole needs to know about your sexual habits. Feels weird to proclaim sexual oppression when in practice it’s more like sexual privacy. I don’t need to know that you are in a consenting polyamorous relationship unless you want me to get with your wife.
angrystego@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I agree with the part that it’s really up to people. I don’t agree it’s ok to want people to hide their relarionships. And they do have to hide them or face problems. People who decide to live in uncommon relationships are a target for others. They often get questioned uncomfortably even by rather liberal people and attacked and bullied by conservative ones. It’s really hard to do this openly. In such circumstances, I do think it’s oppression. It’s also not really about me. But I have eyes and empathy.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
I don’t want people to hide their sexuality, but I think there is an odd modern tendency to sort of overshare these things. I don’t want to know people’s sexualities unless I am romantically interested in them. Why do I need to know what and who you are doing in your private time?
To me it sort of feels like the “we’re trying to have a baby” announcements. Good for you I guess but kinda weird to tell people you’re fucking without protection. Tell me when you’re pregnant and/or have had the baby, that’s plenty information.
I will agree though that the less common sexualities are often met with raised eyebrows when it comes to these topics. Probably wouldn’t hurt if people wouldn’t default to the heterosexual standard assumption.
NewDark@lemmings.world 6 days ago
It sounds like the point they’re making is more: “we internalize and understand relationship norms through serial monogamy, and maybe more people would benefit from reconsidering if that is what they want.”
Not: “You wanna cheat on your partner? Just do it lol.”
Kacarott@aussie.zone 6 days ago
Maybe I misunderstood it then, it seemed like they were presenting this as a defence for people who cheat, like “don’t blame them, blame the society which ultimately causes it”.
NewDark@lemmings.world 6 days ago
I think the “it” there can also be the human nature to want to love/fuck many people, not just a single partner. I’m being charitable as I don’t think that’s the point they’re trying to make, but I’m not the commenter, so idk.