Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss

• Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  You’re 100% right that respect should be a two-way street. I said “should” be. It often is not. Especially when it comes to systems like fair compensation, time, and effort. No argument there. If a company or a boss is disrespecting your time and well-being, that needs to be addressed, period.

  What I was trying to explore in my story is a different layer. Something personal and internal. Though respect should be a two way street, it is still a street worth walking alone. That even in imperfect systems, even when others don’t “earn” your respect or see your effort, there’s still a kind of power in choosing to show up with integrity. Not because they deserve it, but because you do.

  Choosing to be reliable, communicative, and accountable, even when others aren’t, helps shape who you are. It builds character, trustworthiness, and personal dignity. It teaches you to lead yourself. That’s the kind of respect no one can take from you, even when the outer rewards aren’t there yet.

  It’s not about obedience. It’s about owning your path.

  It transforms your mind and, in turn, your life. It is a path worth walking.

  Thanks again for engaging with the nuance. I really value conversations like this.

  source

  • tamman2000@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What I was trying to explore in my story is a different layer. Something personal and internal. Though respect should be a two way street, it is still a street worth walking alone. That even in imperfect systems, even when others don’t “earn” your respect or see your effort, there’s still a kind of power in choosing to show up with integrity. Not because they deserve it, but because you do.

    I think that’s a fine way to go through life. But to expect it of others is messed up. Some people don’t want to prioritize a job that will not prioritise them, and that’s fine. Your suggestion is just a little too close to “tread on me harder, Daddy” than a lot of people are comfortable with. And they aren’t wrong. If doing the work for yourself works for you, that is great. It will make your life easier in some ways. But it absolutely should not be expected in our society.

    source

    • Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I want to clarify something I’ve been trying to express in this conversation.

      I’m not saying anyone owes loyalty, effort, or integrity to a company that doesn’t respect them. If a workplace is unfair or exploitative, people have every right to disengage or walk away. That’s not just valid, it’s necessary.

      But that’s not what I’m talking about.

      What I’m talking about is you. Who you choose to be, no matter what kind of environment you’re in. Are you on time? Do you follow through on your word? Are you consistent and accountable. Even when no one’s watching?

      This isn’t about your boss. This isn’t about your company. This is about whether you want to be the kind of person who can be trusted, counted on, and respected by yourself.

      When you live by values like integrity, honesty, and reliability, not because anyone’s rewarding you, but because they reflect who you are, you gain something real. You grow. You get stronger. You carry that into everything else in your life, your relationships, your work, your reputation, your self-worth.

      This isn’t submission. This isn’t compliance. You can absolutely reject broken systems while still choosing to live by your own standards. That’s what I mean by self-respect. That’s where the power is.

      So when I told my guy, “I’m disappointed,” it wasn’t about control or discipline. It was about hope. I’ve tried to show him what it looks like to show up, not because someone’s cracking a whip, but because you want to be the kind of person who shows up.

      I hold him to that standard because I see what’s possible in him and I believe in what those values can unlock for anyone.

      This is not about imposing expectations. It’s an invitation. To rise. To grow. To build something in yourself that no one can take away.

      And yes, I believe we need more of that in the world. Not because we’re told to, but because we choose to.

      source

      • tamman2000@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I don’t think we didn’t understand what you’re getting at. I think you’re missing my point though.

        You’re describing the way you see respect and work in your value system. Totally valid.

        I’m saying that to some people bringing that kind of commitment to a job that disrespects you by not compensating you adequately is disrespectful to yourself.

        Are you the kind of person who goes the extra mile for people above you in a hierarchy who don’t give a shit about you? To many, answering yes to that question indicates the lack of self respect, not the presence of it.

        source

        • -> View More Comments
      • dil@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        death takes everything away, everything can be taken away, no such thing as building something that cant be taken away

        source
  • Warl0k3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    … Are you serious? You should respect people who don’t respect you in turn because it “builds character”?

    No, that guy in your story had it right. If this is representative of the culture you work in, I’d do the absolute bare minimum too. This is such blatant ‘hard work’ propaganda it’s actually kind of nauseating. Holy shit, take a step back and realize you’re helping your team get taken advantage of, and guilt-tripping them when they don’t comply with your corporate masters. You’ve progressed way beyond drinking the kool-aid, now you’re one of the guys holding the children hostage to get their parents to drink it.

    Fuck’s sake, you’re the problem in that story.

    source