Comment on do you think freewill truly exists?
ameancow@lemmy.world 3 weeks agoI really think that a huge issue we’ve been having since the dawn of the internet is the perplexing effect that seems to impact a large portion of the population, where when they see someone suggest something, they take it as “being forced” and I cannot understand it. I can only assume that we grew up in very different environments and a lot of people aren’t really aware of their own agency.
wpb@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Ah my bad, I thought you were complaining about people not wanting to engage in small talk, and I thought you were suggesting that people should just suck it up and talk about the weather even if they don’t want to. I’m a bad communicator, and I sometimes misread stuff like that.
ameancow@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
my suggestion is that if you’re lacking in social contact, or even if you just want to open up more opportunities in either social life or professional, don’t “suck it up” and pretend, but learn to understand and appreciate how socializing works by engaging in it like a game, learning what’s actually happening in “small talk” and how to make people feel comfortable with you and gaining emotional intelligence, empathy; qualities that most people look for in friends and romantic partners.
This is a severely neglected field of understanding for a lot of younger men right now and I don’t think we should be making whole communities that provide validation for people avoiding the discomfort and instead we should treat it like exercise and diet. We don’t exercise and diet because it feels good, we do it because the results are worthwhile. We tell people struggling with it “Just stick with it, it gets easier” and we treat that like good advice.
And again, it wouldn’t be such an issue if there wasn’t such a massive problem right now with social isolation. It’s a message of public health, not social conformity. If you’re happy as things are, nobody is forcing you to do anything, but if you battle depressive episodes or are lacking in relationships, if you don’t feel like you have people to talk to, if you’ve never had someone give you comfort and support and you would like that, well the good news is you can have that. You can have people in your actual, real life who care about you, which can then open up more opportunities. But it takes exercise.
wpb@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I had a hard enough time accepting it* for myself, and I can’t expect a stranger on the internet to do so quicker than I did. I hope that some day you can reflect back on this conversation and realize you’re being a bit of a dick about this.
ameancow@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I really am glad to know that I’m coming off as a dick on this, that is my every intention, we need more people willing to break social convention and say “Hey this thing that makes you comfortable? It’s fucking your life up. Stop it.”
That’s what I’m doing, thank you for the feedback, if it’s not impacting you the way you want, I don’t really care because I do get enough positive feedback in other environments that I don’t feel I’m actually harming anyone by saying “thing you don’t like.”
We need to read more things we don’t like. We need to be challenged. We need to know we can change, we can hold others to this same standard too.
If we don’t, we’re going to lose thousands of years of progress as our species degrades further and further into isolated headspaces.