Listen, strange moment lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

I mean if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had thrown a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!