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Transitioning to a point of passing in my understanding (mtf or ftm) comes with pros and cons.

I often think about this article as well when it comes to trans men’s negative experiences once accepted as men: www.newsweek.com/trans-man-broken-men-1817169

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sureok@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Of course there are good and bad aspects to any choice.

Trans man here to say that nobody needs to give any extra cred to MRA bullshit just because a trans person is saying it. I have also been through the full dude experience including profound loneliness. I likewise thought I was prepared but wasn’t. Its hard. I miss how things were before too.

I also know that in general, in 2025, all people are more isolated than 20 years ago. Furthermore, it is a known phenomena for a longtime that friendships are more difficult to cultivate as an adult. I doubt how different things would have turned out for me had I not transitioned.

I also know that the “distance” I now experience from women is a direct result of 20,000 years of patriarchal violence. Of course women relate to me as a potential threat; I am one. And without the presumed vulnerability I possessed as a woman, men relate accordingly. Of course.

At some point, as a trans guy, you need to stop leaning on your experience “as a former woman” to compare your life to, especially in the negative. Being 22 is not the same as 42 no matter what your gender presentation at any point. Many people experience nostalgia for their youth.

As a man, you get to feel safe, but you don’t get to be a nurturer or nurtured. You can speak up whenever you want, but not about your emotions, fears, or grief. You have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want, as long as that doesn’t involve anything feminine, which turns out to be many incredible things, like emotions, intentional parenting, grooming, baking, and so many other activities I’ve learned are too feminine.

Just as when cis guys make these complaints, I question this person’s definition of “you dont get to”. In fact the article describes him making a career out of doing so. Even specific instances of “going viral”, and the affirmative feedback he received. It seems that you do get to.

Which leads to pointing out that the whole thing is an advertisment for the author who is “a Professional Corporate Speaker and Stress Management Coach”.

And it has anti-trans hate material suggested items in the middle of it:

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- HalfSalesman@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  Trans man here to say that nobody needs to give any extra cred to MRA bullshit just because a trans person is saying it. I have also been through the full dude experience including profound loneliness. I likewise thought I was prepared but wasn’t. Its hard. I miss how things were before too.
  
  I don’t think the author was giving credit to MRA bullshit. MRA’s seem to often hate women and I don’t think the article implies any hatred, if anything he still tries to essentially that men are the ones that need to put in the effort to push past toxic masculinity. Describing it as a problem to be fixed at the individual level rather than at systematic level. Saying "If I could advise men, it would be first to look inward. "
  
  I also know that in general, in 2025, all people are more isolated than 20 years ago. Furthermore, it is a known phenomena for a longtime that friendships are more difficult to cultivate as an adult. I doubt how different things would have turned out for me had I not transitioned.
  
  Suicide rates differ for a reason. It is far more painful to be a lonely man than a lonely woman. Men are very quick to self loathing.
  
  I also know that the “distance” I now experience from women is a direct result of 20,000 years of patriarchal violence. Of course women relate to me as a potential threat; I am one. And without the presumed vulnerability I possessed as a woman, men relate accordingly. Of course.
  
  We should have fewer male babies. It seems like it’d reduce the amount of fear and alienation in society. (I’m saying this in good faith, I’m serious.)
  
  At some point, as a trans guy, you need to stop leaning on your experience “as a former woman” to compare your life to, especially in the negative. Being 22 is not the same as 42 no matter what your gender presentation at any point. Many people experience nostalgia for their youth.
  
  Based on my own reading/discourse, trans women usually seem to feel very little youth nostalgia in comparison. They might complain that they’re older now, but that’s usually more of a melancholy over “what could have been” had they been AFAB.
  
  Just as when cis guys make these complaints, I question this person’s definition of “you dont get to”. In fact the article describes him making a career out of doing so. Even specific instances of “going viral”, and the affirmative feedback he received. It seems that you do get to.
  
  I’m pretty sure he was talking about social pressures. Sure, he got to because he was very motivated to push against that societal expectation, that doesn’t really mean that average men can get away with that unless they dedicate their whole career/life to it.
  
  Which leads to pointing out that the whole thing is an advertisment for the author who is “a Professional Corporate Speaker and Stress Management Coach”.
  
  I think calling it an advertisement is a stretch based only on that, but even if it was that doesn’t invalidate the point being made.
  
  And it has anti-trans hate material suggested items in the middle of it:
  
  I think that’s just because those are controversial yet related articles on Newsweek so their algorithm picked them. But yeah, those do seem to be especially trashy and obvious anti-trans articles. Its kind of gross that they ever ran on Newsweek to be honest…
  
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  - MITM0@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Trans people seem to have a knack for hating men huh.
    
    We should have fewer male babies
    
    Go on, try it there’ll be no tolerance for people who advocate for this levels of evil
    
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    sureok@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Well there is plenty of tolerance for elon musk having zillions of only boy-assigned babies. So it isn’t the concept of sex selection that leads to being universally regarded as evil. What else could it be?
    
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    HalfSalesman@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    
    Trans people seem to have a knack for hating men huh.
    
    I’m not trans. I’m a cis male.
    
    Go on, try it there’ll be no tolerance for people who advocate for this levels of evil
    
    Evil? I’m suggesting such not to punish males. Its to minimize loneliness and sadness in the world.
    
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