Comment on Starbucks continues to be terrible

• theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I have spent most of my life dealing with a successful sociopath. Thing is, at times it really looks like he means well.

  It’s a constant battle in my head. Is it just his belief system? Is it just that he views everyone else as incompetent?

  I constantly find myself making excuses for him because I love him. I get angry and I’m able to really look at everything sometimes, or he does something really shitty to someone else. Like recently, he wanted to buy tires for his son. Great, right? But he had to find a way to make it a tax write off or he didn’t want to do it. He got his daughter a car, but with the condition that her mother couldn’t drive it under any circumstances. And it had to be a flood damaged car. Good deals with the salvage titles and all.

  He finally caved and sent his son money when I guilt tripped him, but he was mad for weeks about it. He’s probably still fuming. Mom ended up buying his daughter a car she couldn’t afford on credit and have the one he bought her to his girlfriend.

  He ended up buying his son used tires because he couldn’t work it out to get the write off without sending a check and he didn’t trust him with it (with no reason to feel that way).

  He built a cabin with his step brother in the 80s. They both poured blood, sweat, and tears into it. He had the money so he technically owned it, but it was understood that it was theirs with no strings attached.

  When it was completed he informed him that he was welcome to use it any time he wanted, so long as his mother never stepped foot through the door. Naturally his step brother said “fuck that”, took the L and never went back.

  I don’t know I’m doing dealing with it. Emotions are weird.

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  • MooseyMoose@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I understand, my brother only ever fucked over everyone else except me (probably because he knew what would happen) and it was an ever frustrating thing. I miss him but I think it’s for the best that he isn’t around to do more damage.

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    • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      What ended up happening to him? Was it drugs that stopped him from being successful enough to really hurt people?

      Sorry to say it like that. That’s just been my experience.

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      • MooseyMoose@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        He got hopped up on coke and booze and tried to kill a random driver with one of his beloved guns and they ran him down.

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  • tischbier@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I trust you know this person well and that your experience is accurate.

    However, you might find it useful to look up coping mechanisms in dealing with someone with OCPD. OCPD is extremely common and people with this personality disorder usually are extremely miserly and controlling. I’m not saying your person has this disorder. But from your story, the issues with money align closely enough that the tools people use in dealing with OCPD miserliness might help you. Or at the very least it might help you feel less alone in that experience.

    I’m really sorry you are having to manage that and deal with this. You sound like a very reasonable and empathetic person. Please do something small and kind for yourself tomorrow. ❤️

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    • theangryseal@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I did some reading. It would be spot on if he wasn’t convinced that he was perfect and everyone else wasn’t.

      No one is smarter than him. No one does it better than him. No one could even come close to comprehending his work. When he dies he feels sorry for anyone who has to work behind him and it will take teams of people to understand tie genius of his work. Anyone who has a slightly different worldview than him is “thinking wrong”.

      He isn’t obsessed with perfection. He is perfection. No lover could please a woman like him. No one is stronger or more capable. He has done the work of 500 men in one lifetime.

      He prides himself on being the best, but not because he has anything to prove to anyone. He knows he’s the best. No one is better.

      His father’s dying words were, “Please God. Let my son find some humility. Please. He’ll have no peace until he finds it.”

      His father was a great man. An activist. A man who actually worked to change the world.

      He wasn’t always that guy though. He had to learn some hard lessons to get there and his son suffered while he learned those lessons. He knew that. He took accountability for it.

      I don’t know. I wouldn’t have made it without him in this life, but it was always a transaction. He doesn’t know how to do anything without a transaction. I’ve been trying to show him that it isn’t always about that. Every job we do, he tells me to keep track of my hours so he can pay me. I don’t want him to pay me. I want him to see that life can be something we experience and enjoy without it being a transaction.

      I’m probably wasting my time, but I love my uncle irrationally and I don’t know why.

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