Comment on life changed due to shrimp
medgremlin@midwest.social 5 days agoKids are a really big commitment in a different way because of the psychological and cognitive needs of the child, and it would be a lot better for the kiddos if the parents have their spoons together before the kid arrives. It can be very chaotic and damaging for the child if the parent is getting their stuff together during the developmental periods. This especially goes for pregnancy because mental illness and substance use during pregnancy can seriously affect fetal development in some cases and it can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth if things aren’t sorted out fast enough.
So, maybe having kids might be more viable for fathers, but it’s still not a great idea because disengaged fathers can be damaging to both the baby and the mother.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Oh, absolutely. I tell everyone to not have kids, knowing that those who should have kids will just ignore me and have them anyway.
My point is just that a lot of motivation in my life comes from my obligations for my kids. It’s similar to having pets, but a lot more extreme.
medgremlin@midwest.social 5 days ago
It’s hard to have that conversation with a 17 year old who just gave birth to their second child. There’s children out here having children because we have fuckall for sex ed in this country and human instincts and desires aren’t going to go away. I have met pregnant teenagers that knew that sex before marriage was bad and would send them to hell, and that sex is where babies come from…but didn’t know that “sex” is when “he puts his thing into me where I pee from down there” because no one ever explained to her what sex actually is.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
oh yeah, i remember, in school when i was 12 years old, a teacher told me “no holding hands because that’s immoral” and walked away.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I have a hard time believing this. 10s on any porn site would make that connection clear, and you could ask pretty much any 12yo and they’ll know what sex is mechanically, even if they’ve never looked at porn or had a sex ed class.
Regardless, I agree wholeheartedly that we need better sex ed and access to contraception and protection against STDs. People, especially kids, are really good at making justifications.
medgremlin@midwest.social 5 days ago
A girl from a religious family in a rural community that was home-schooled until starting at a strict Catholic school in 6th grade and has not looked at porn…yeah, she had no idea what sex is or that what her 3-years-older-than-her boyfriend wanted was actually sex.