Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time and your analysis, I’m not sure if its relavant but by th3 end of the 1 on 1 the director apologized to me when they realized that what i had asked actually furthered the conversation and that they were hurt that I would make that statement at the time and in that group as they felt I was just digging up old corpses, when they were explained my thought process and what I meant and what I asked and that the point of that statement was to ensure we dont fall into the same pitfalls again, I was calm and kind in the meeting. I do agree I think i have been burned out for a bit and this whole situation felt bad, and I do agree that this is an industry/employement thing that I can’t really escape from.
Comment on Are there any non capitalistic technology companies still around?
BeefPiano@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I have a couple decades experience as a software engineer and manager. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear my answer, but here it is:
You might be in a bad situation, it’s hard to say with a single data point. There are bad bosses out there and it can be a nightmare, even at a good company. The “easy” fix is to try working on a different team or a different company and see if that solves the issue. Easy is in quotes because, as an immigrant, it may be tough to move to another employer.
The harder answer is to look inside yourself.
Your title asks about non-capitalistic companies. There are non-profits, but I don’t think capitalism is your problem here. You’re still going to run into problems at non-profits or even volunteering in open source if you aren’t able to integrate well with teams.
There are always going to be cultural expectations no matter where you go. The situation you described about having a 1:1 over asking questions suggests you either have an overly sensitive manager or your manager is right and you are not effective with your feedback. Asking questions can open up conversations or be used to bully people you disagree with.
The way you disagree matters. It’s not enough to be right, you need to persuade other people to be right too. As a manager, I’m focused on the team’s output and if one person is causing problems with the group dynamic, I’m going to address it.
I’m hiring right now and have passed on candidates who fall into the “brilliant jerk” stereotype. There’s research that shows that those types drag the rest of the team down. Remember, I’m focused on the entire team, so any one person needs to fit into that context.
If you find that your interpersonal skills need a boost, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has good advice but it’s hard for some people to accept advice like “let other people be wrong when it doesn’t matter” and “compliment people.”
The other thing I’m reading in your post is that you may be burned out. The classic solutions for that are therapy, rest, exercise, and investing in life outside work. It’s hard to spot burnout sometimes, but check in with your support group.
So that’s 3 options forward: change your situation, improve your skills, or rest up and recover from burnout. Good luck.
tpyoman@lemmy.world 1 month ago
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I agree with the OP’s response. It was well written and gave you several options. In particular, the point about cultural expectations sounds like the most pertinent. I don’t know what your working relationship is with your director, but the fact that they first apologized and second, when they understood your motives, lauded you.
It does suck having your good faith questions misinterpreted. However, it’s unclear what your director did or said that made you feel you were kissing his ring. Did he scold you? Or just explain how he felt about your question?
Others have given resources about coops and flat heirarchies, but this sounds like you want a very specific corporate culture. Even in the right fit, you are influencing people and will have to work with their personalities. Politics will always be part of the game as long as there are limited resources and risks in allocating those resources.
tpyoman@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Thank you for your response sadly I can’t explain better without divulging internal information and politics, while I agree with you that influence and politics would be an issue everywhere as a manager or a director there are ways to shield your employees from higher ups which doesn’t happen here, we are thrown under the bus until I have to step in and explain what happened, why it happened and defend my coworkers, I have had better managers and directors and this was more of a poor manager/director in my opinion. My manager, director, all the up to the VP are from India and they are bringing the same culture from India the one I came here to get away from. It’s disheartening to hear “get with the program” from y’all, dont get me wrong but there are jobs where people don’t have to deal with this, my previous manager before the acquisition and him being layed off cared enough that this kind of non sense wouldn’t even reach me, especially stuff like this from a director, and y’all telling me “suck it up” doesn’t feel too good.
BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one 1 month ago
This is some of the best advice I’ve ever read on lemmy. Thank you!