Comment on I feel my life is empty. Is there any way to stop this?
cynar@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’ve seen this more than a few times, as well as felt it myself. It’s a particular form of situational depression.
In short, the solution is to “find your tribe”.
Your problem is 2 fold.
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Humans are a social animal. We need a group to socialise with, to be stable and happy. The requirements vary, but it’s almost always non-zero. The lack of meaningful contact sends us into a downward spiral.
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99% of people are boring to you. This is actually completely fine and reasonable. Unfortunately the 1% that aren’t boring to you tend to be hard to find. Even worse, weirder people tend to mask. They pretend to be normal and boring to fit in.
The goal, therefore, is to find what 1% you need and where they congregate, with their masks down. They are out there, you just need to find them. You do this by trying new hobbies and activities. Most won’t hit the mark, but some will resonate with you. It’s OK to try a lot of things before you find it.
For me, it was a makerspace. I actually ended up founding one, since there wasn’t one locally. I’ve seen a number of other people come along and discover there really is a group of weirdos that they fit into that aren’t boring. They, in turn, add their brand of weirdness to the group and make it better for all involved.
Without knowing more about you, I can’t point you in the right direction. I can say they are out there. You just need to find them.
Go find your tribe.
lordnikon@lemmy.world 4 days ago
This is some good feedback. Not op but I have a genuine question if you are a middle aged man. How would you engage people that may be younger than you 20s and up and not look like or at least feel like a creep. Other than my wife I have basically no friends that share my interest. But can’t engage for fear of coming off as a creep.
cynar@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It’s mostly a non issue in my group. Our ages run from late teens to OAP. I often don’t even notice ages. I just talk to them as a person with a shared interest.
It does help that at least half of us are neurodiverse. Most awkwardness doesn’t even get noticed by either side. Enthusiasm covers a lot of sins!
I mostly judge people by skill level in the subject. If they are knowledgeable, I’m happy to pick their brain for info. It doesn’t matter if they are 20 years older or younger. Conversely, if they are new, I try and share the lessons and tricks I’ve picked up.
electric_nan@lemmy.ml 4 days ago
Just engage. Make sure you are fully committed to not being a creep, and play your part. Lots of youngsters want and need older role-models/mentors/whatever. As long as you are clear with maintaining and signaling your boundaries, it can be a really positive experience for everyone.