I’ve always wondered how accurate those tests are to begin with. I have to imagine, based on my experience, it’s not great.

When I was young and dumb and hanging out with the wrong crowd, I was a regular drug user, including the most dangerous thing of all … marijuana. GASP.

I worked several jobs that did regular “random” drugs tests during those years. And I passed each and every time. It makes me think the tests are heavily flawed and/or there’s something unusual about my metabolism.

One time, my employer did a random test right after I got back from spring break. Let’s just say, I probably wasn’t sober more than 5 minutes for the past month at that point. Strangely, they let us go into a private bathroom that had a toilet and a sink to produce the sample. I literally just pissed a tiny bit into the cup, then filled it up the rest of the way with warm tap water. That was apparently good enough. I even knew they supposedly tested for things like creatine levels (to detect dilution) and chlorine/chloramine (to detect tap water), but I was hoping for the best. Apparently, it wasn’t an issue.

On the flip side, a friend of mine who rarely smoked weed got busted. She’d literally smoked up the night before, for the first time in over 6 months.

Shit’s fucked up.