NeverHomeSick7

@NeverHomeSick7@thelemmy.club

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Lol, who doesn’t hate us? Secretly or openly?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Thanks…to be honest, I’m pretty much over it. I am not a racist but it’s kinda hard to be nice to people who I think are inherently racist.

  So, I walk past Asians almost everyday now. I’m from Chicago and there are area’s where you just don’t see an Asian person versus downtown or Chinatown. Here, in the Pacific Northwest, and in my commute or frequent routes, I see Africans, Whites, Blacks, Latinos, Arabs and Asians (a large mix: API’s, Southeast Asian and the exotic “pool”) in the same stores, on the same trains. Now, I haven’t gone looking for a predominant Asian neighborhood or community or anything like that, hell, I haven’t even asked an actual Asian person that I know this posted question face to face and I talk to some Asian people in a professional manner but not personal.

  My point is, when it’s convenient for the AF in public, they get in a close proximity to me for safety of a more determined threat. Not every person is the same, I know this. However, it’s is very much the case that more Asian male and female tend to avert their eyes or situate themselves away from other Black or African people or myself when it’s white people or no one else around.

  I don’t have to take any offense to that. But it is viewed and I think to myself, I could say fuck Asian people and join the anti-asian people. I’m not; But I dont even know who is attacking them or why. I don’t know any sane Black person who speaks or acts hostile toward Asian people. I only really know my white pals who love or fetishize over Asian people. And not all or every type of Asian. Most of my Black friends don’t (a better way to put it) are not attracted to Asian women. It’s because the image and or stereotype is that AF’s don’t have large bums. And are often flat chested. I beg to disagree but I’m me and I love all types of females and often times, I see the AF and her body type as a plus. Petite is a nice aging trait.

  Now, I HAVE heard of Black females stating they wouldn’t mind an Asian man’s attention but I have not heard or can recall a Black female stating a resentment or personal relationship of hate or disdain for an Asian man. I have only heard of the distrust and rudeness of an Asian restaurant and the fallout being projected as racism. I know of the stupid stereotype of a Chinese restaurant and animals we call pets. But I take it as a intended rude and bigot joke.

  I can’t speak for any Black female and I don’t speak for every Black male. The conversation people are offering in response to my posted questions (which may not be the best framing of the question) is shallow, ignorant, one sided, obnoxious, intentional obfuscation, deflection and bad-faith engagement. Majority of the response don’t seem to come from a Black or Asian person with experience to the question. I appreciate the responses because it provides ME some context.

  I don’t think this platform has a large pool or community of people of color to begin with. But to be honest I don’t know and I am not going to research that.

  So, I kinda figured just leave Asian people alone. I’m only one person. I highly doubt my business or engagement would change a whole body of people. Seriously. I mean, I thought I liked Asian people but, I just might like my Filipino male friends, Thai male friends and Japanese anime. And some Asian foods. And samurai and swords…and…nevermind.

  I don’t like reading that their parents teach them to be this or that way towards Black people. My parents and step parents, nor my relatives, taught me to hate or dislike any people. They WARNED me about white people but, were clear that white people are not all the same. They warned me about how (I’m ashamed of this part) all other race kiss ass up to white people. They for the majority agree that white people hold the highest status in the society as we know it but, that in order to have done that that white people shitted on every race throughout history. I studied some history too and came to that conclusion too. But I still don’t treat every white person as the racist person in a history book.

  It was said that, when I was a kid, the Asian people or China would take over the world. Outsmart and outnumber us all. As a naive child then, watching so many karate and taekwondo films, I believed it and mentally sided with the idea with excitement. As I got older my opinion of China clearly changed but I still was excited about the Asian population and wanted to align with them in partaking of food and culture sharing. I’m from the South Side of Chicago so…that was a uncommon thing for most. Not for me per se because I ventured downtown a lot and have and had family on the North side. I think the Asian community there is different though.

  I dated Asian females. However, I was oblivious to the racist portion, if there was any from the parents. I don’t know if I was hidden or just lucky.

  But I didn’t and don’t just date one race. I maybe a lucky guy with looks or something but I don’t know if that’s the case and that be solid 🤔

  However, after seeing what I see now in Washington state, I kinda want to help personally but, I see this lack of interest or purposeful distance too much that it’s started to make me feel like: Don’t support them, leave them alone, let them suffer in silence like most Black people do…I don’t know. Like, if or when a Asian is attacked and it’s on the news, I should not care. Be numb to the entire process. Wait for the next segment to come on or just turn the channel. As an American and former Marine I’m conflicted and I don’t think it’s right. But I feel like I have to choose a side.

  I’m telling my truth. That’s my feeling and how I felt.

  If you read this…shaking my head. Have a blessed life in this strange fucked up world. Cause it’s just weird 😕

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  not was supposed to be included but you still got the desired impact…a laugh.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I feel that culture matters. I am not seeking an uncultured person and I love identity. I love music and variety. I want to share and partake. However, I dont want to be one size fits all and there is only one way with everything and everyone. I would hope my partner could appreciate that personally.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Thanks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I see, thank you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Why the (!)?..I didn’t say I was sad or lonely. 😆

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  My bad, I am just tired of unhelpful comments. The provided comments are no different from reddit or similar to google research. I don’t think there is a decent following of colored people on this site to draw a real world experience answer(s) to gain enough information. And it should be no surprise…I didn’t even want to do this, I just wanted to post the question and push people to think a bit more. Stupid idea. We really need AI to translate our thoughts for us, or Jesus to come back…if not that an outside entity to help us see a better way forward.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Who is doing this seeking of Asian women and white women?

  Deep Breath

  I respect you opinion and research.

  In my opinion, simple people don’t challenge the socially acceptable and or settled for norms because in most ways of life it’s easier.

  I’m looking for the tougher crowd of people to answer these questions.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Thanks for your opinion.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I take me my anger out in odd ways too. Thanks for stopping by and reminding me that I’m not perfect. I didn’t read your post and it was fun just skimming over it all together. Freedom of expression. No sweat and like you, I don’t care.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You have a semi-unique situation and circumstances. Ideally, you and your spouse are starting a new family from scratch. I love my family. I come from a family that invests into one another. When one steps, most of us steps in that direction as well. We have a touch of the American individual–Independence scattered throughout but it’s helpful with questions like the one I have presented. I was once married to a Mexican, whom I met and loved her in America. Her roots are in Mexico and her mother “hated” Black people. Her father was a man of honor and decent judgements. I was not his first son-in-law. When I stood my ground and stopped paying my then mother-in-law attention, she desired more of my attention for good and laughed a good laugh when I came around. Sooner than later the in laws had Black friends of their own.

  I’m not on a mission to save or change the world, nothing like that. I am just happy my family is understanding and not racist. We’re loving and compassionate towards our community and neighbors. However, we or some of us do occasionally use the spooky myth of being the black boogeyman to scare crazy people off. 😜

  Take care. Best of luck to your family.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I wish you well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I okay with you making an opinion. I know I’m perfect. If you care to help, I would appreciate it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The questions are: How do Black men/Asian women couples manage the pressure of conservative family views or racist stereotypes, and was it worth it?

  Black men in the PNW who have dated Asian women: What is your experience with navigating cultural differences and family opposition?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’d like to know where you draw your rational from. I don’t completely doubt your view of the social progress and credit of a people in the eyes of many other’s. Just would like to know your background a bit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Your opinion may shead some light on the topic, regardless of your skin color. Please enlighten me. I doubt I have as much experience as you? Are you located in the PNW?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I am sorry, I can’t. I’m not a woman. What I can offer is this, they are not all the same. I have dated Black women that went to college, church; job and no job; weed smoker and non weed smoking…and the black women still want to hit me. Just try not to piss them off, I suppose. I personally love a woman that can and doesn’t mind throwing hands. Be in the gym or defending her self if need be. However, if any woman raises her hand toward me I’m out.

  I think a lot of movies and bad parenting or lack of parenting are the vectors as to why women feel its okay for them to assault a male and think it’s okay and not against the law. I don’t. I also dont think a male is a man if he raises his hand to a woman; without a righteous cause in the purest of action. I know we dont live in a perfect world and thus there are no perfect women nor men. So, I excuse her throwing stuff at me or slapping my chest with tears in her eye’s. If I did something wrong, talk about it and if I cross the boundary again, I dont respect you and you should leave me. As if and when she crosses that boundary, I’m leaving her.

  I vented.

• Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk?
  Submitted ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨33⁩ ⁨comments⁩