BearWolf
@BearWolf@lemmings.world
- Comment on Eat garbage 1 year ago:
First of all I want to thank you for writing this out and taking my questions seriously. I know it can be hard to put these feelings into words, so really thanks.
I kind of get where you’re coming from in terms of gendered socialization. Growing up a small eastern european village as a gay boy and teen, I definitely felt I was pitched very strongly the “right way” to be a man and a “wrong way” to be a man.
What’s interesting to me is this talk about labels. I hope I am reading it right, but you seem to be saying you needed the label before you could do things. Why? Why is a label necessary before you can engage in behaviors? For me, I knew I was gay long before I applied the label to myself and in fact, applying that label to finally accept I am gay has been a source of a lot of friction and anxiety in my youth.
What I am saying is, do you not feel when you say
But I still feel masculine from time to time and have many ‘masculine’ traits like the desire to protect, an appreciation and love for cars and mechanics, a desire to be bigger and stronger than the person next to me, and a number of other traits considered to be ‘manly’.
That you are actually reifying gender? Why are these traits masculine? I may be coming to this from a very “second wave feminism” perspective, but to me and many people in my generation, gender “liberation” was about erasing these boundaries and decoupling stuff like cars and strength from either masculinity or femininity.
I’m not saying that all trans rights activists do this, but there is a strain of it I noticed that really does seem to be want to define gender for everyone and then enforce these new gender standards on everyone. I have some stereotypical “feminine” interests too. I like fashion, I like to talk about my feelings with my friends for hours. But I don’t feel in any way like a woman because of it.
To me, gender liberation was about learning that my homosexuality doesn’t make me “less of a man,” that I can still enjoy “masculine” pursuits, but really that I can be any kind of man I want to be without having to adopt any new labels or identities.
In fact, I felt, and many gay men of my generation do, that to accept a new and separate labels means also accepting that we’re not “proper” men.
I suppose that’s a source of a lot of misunderstanding because it seems to me that current gender theory is diverging from this idea of gender non-essentialism into a new form of gender essentialism where if you like stereotypical “male stuff” then you’re not a “proper woman” that is to say you must be either trans or non-binary in some way. And vice-versa. I’m interested in your opinion on this.
The second thing that jumps out at me is your claim that if we’re cis we cannot understand you. While it is true that we can never fully grasp the experience of the Other (regardless of identities and lived experiences) I still believe empathy is possible and necessary for building solidarity.
When I hear this, I think I hear two things: one, that there’s a fundamental disconnection between us that cannot be remedied; two, that the only way for me to support you is to put myself in a subordinate position to you and simply as some activists say “shut up and listen.”
And with all the respect in the world, I am not prepared to accept the second condition. Gender concerns me as well, even if I am cis, and I cannot accept that there should be a group of people, in the current progressive view these are trans and non-binary people, who should have sole authority to define gender and to whom we all need to genuflect.
This isn’t about respecting your gender identity, which I do, this is about a society-wide discourse on gender that we’re all subject to whether we want it or not. I want the freedom to talk about gender, my own and gender at large, without being shouted down and called a bigot every time I disagree with the current progressive consensus on it.
Anyway, thank you again for your extensive write-up, it’s important to hear the actual experience and thoughts of people and not just theories.
- Comment on Eat garbage 1 year ago:
That’s part I understand. What I don’t understand is
a role that does not reflect who you are
how you see yourself and how you want to be.
In the context of gender, where do these feelings come from? How do I know if a role does or doesn’t reflect “who I am?” Where does how I see myself come from and where does the desire to be how I want to be come from?
You haven’t actually answered my question, sorry to say. What I’m asking is where does the feeling of being “forced into a role” come from? How do I know the role is not right for me?
- Comment on Eat garbage 1 year ago:
I always want to learn more about things. To be totally honest with you, what I’m having the most trouble understanding in the current gender discourse is how can gender be both a social construct/abstraction (in the famous words of Judith Butler “an imitation without an original”) but then also gender identity is a deeply-seated innate feeling that people have that then enables the feeling of “my gender is wrong and I need to change it.”
I really don’t want to be transphobic or even enbyphobic or anything and I will use whatever pronouns people want to be nice. But just on an epistemological level, I’m having trouble understanding it.
- Comment on Eat garbage 1 year ago:
If gender is fake why is gender identity so important? If gender is fake then how some people feel they’re the wrong gender? If gender is fake why is it so important to learn about someone’s gender because using the wrong pronouns will give them trauma?
Get your story straight on gender challenge for leftists (IMPOSSIBLE)
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
I don’t see how it’s trolling to point out that rich and successful people are just built different. They are superior so they should get more stuff.
Honestly all the haters and losers (sad!) should be lucky they’re not living in any other era of humanity. 500 years ago they’d be subsistence farmers but now they can order food through their phones.
Capitalism did that!
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
None of those workers are really grinding. They come from work and what do they do? They stuff their face with fast food and watch Netflix.
Why not read self help books, hit the gym, start a side hustle? With the savings from not paying for Netflix and eating avocado toast you can buy crypto! The grind is 24/7 my dude. I’m sorry but the majority of people are simply not ambitious enough. Those who rise early and work 24/7 on self betterment are rich. That’s the difference between a CEO and a teacher.
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
Capitalism is a system that lets anyone succeed. So perhaps there aren’t that many workers cöoperatives because most working class individuals are simply unfit for leadership positions.
I mean you can’t really expect someone whose job is to wait tables to know how to properly run a restaurant. It takes someone who understands systems and most people don’t.
But you know what. Even the poor have fridges and cars in the USA. Hardly could say the same about North Korea.
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
I know he was a Russsian Soviet KGB dezinformatsiya and provokatsiya agent. I mean it’s right there in the name. You’re not fooling anyone “Charles.”
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
Everyone gets according to their contribution. That’s something communism and capitalism actually have in common. However capitalism takes into account uniqueness, results, and innovation. In communism you get rewarded just for doing something. No matter how shitty the thing is, no matter how lazy you are.
In capitalism you get according to how critical and innovative your thing is. So yeah, most people aren’t very critical or innovative. So why would they get much?
Oh, you can scan groceries or flip burgers — you should be able to buy an apartment in a large urban city. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit silly?
Also, we need wealth gaps so that people would be motivated to invest and grind and strive.
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
If it worked, we’d see more of it. But I have nothing against it why would I? Anyone can be an owner in capitalism.
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
Go back your Russian Soviet KGB troll hole! Capitalism is the best! I am a capitalist every day!
- Comment on How in the hell 1 year ago:
Wow even more Russian Soviet KGB dezinformatsiya. Capitalism is the best system the planet has ever seen. It ensures freedom and a just division of resources. Or would you rather than your sustenance depends on some commisar? Better make sure to magnify and sanctify the holy name of Stalin – or else!
In the US, you are free (it’s called right to work, sweaty!) to join and leave any company at any time. Whereas if comrade Stalin had his way, you’d be shipped off to Siberia to work a in a munitions factory while starving.
- Comment on Japan investigates foreign YouTubers accused of dodging train fares and stealing food 1 year ago:
Classic Japan. Such xenophobic nonsense. Just consent to be culturally enriched so dey cultcha can become your cultcha.
- Comment on 1,000,000 children living in most extreme poverty as figure almost trebles since 2017, report finds 1 year ago:
You know it must be great being the Left. A totally external locus of control. It’s the Tories! It’s the bigots! It’s the billionaires!
I’ll digress a bit here and give you an example. In my country there’s an organisation called Marks21. They say they are a “movement to build a worker’s party.” They’ve existed for more than 20 years now. No worker’s party in sight. But what do they occupy their time with? Endless discussions on gender. And before you accuse me of bashing the woke, this organisation is actually very transphobic.
What I am saying, and you’re wilfully ignoring, is that the left is also to blame here. Not just the Tories. Not just the billionaires.
The left has abandoned common people instead focusing on academia and middle class liberals cosplaying as radicals. This left would rather pal around with woke corporations while denouncing normal people over fringe and esoteric issues like neopronouns.
- Comment on 1,000,000 children living in most extreme poverty as figure almost trebles since 2017, report finds 1 year ago:
I humbly submit that starving children should take precedence over queers.
- Comment on 1,000,000 children living in most extreme poverty as figure almost trebles since 2017, report finds 1 year ago:
Maybe the left should care more about starving children and less about what JK Rowling posts on Twitter.
Maybe the left should be building a broad coalition with everyone who’s fed up of there being starving children instead of chastising and cancelling normal working class people for not getting the latest most esoteric gender discourse.
No. Genders are way more important than children.
- Comment on 1,000,000 children living in most extreme poverty as figure almost trebles since 2017, report finds 1 year ago:
Who said anything about the Tory government? You really think you have a million hungry children because of the Tories? You’re politially illiterate then.
- Comment on 1,000,000 children living in most extreme poverty as figure almost trebles since 2017, report finds 1 year ago:
Million children hungry: I sleep.
Wrong pronouns used to Twitter: straight to jail!
The neoliberal establishment that “the Left” wholeheartedly supports.