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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Natural-Cause-3661 on 2023-10-02 00:13:04.

My entire life, I’ve been compared to my older sister. Got an A on an assignment? Sister got an A+ and a national award. Scored a goal in soccer? She got recruited to play on the varsity team as a freshman. Have a crush on a guy in high school? He worships her and follows her on Instagram and likes every photo. Only one teacher my entire life actually treated me like an individual. To everyone else, I was just “X’s Sister”, and treated like dirt for not being her. Our parents can’t get through a sentence without mentioning her and her accomplishments. It’s like I’m invisible, even though I’ve done some cool things too (I have a moderate internet following and have spent a lot of time improving my guitar and songwriting skills).

She left our small town and went to an ivy league school, and that just made her legend around town even bigger and more annoying to deal with. While there, she met a guy from a super wealthy family and started spending all her holidays traveling with him instead of coming home. So I basically haven’t seen her since she was 19 and I was 16. This has been genuinely good for me, it would have been better if everyone would stop talking about her all the time, but I’ve been able to control my reactions and most people don’t know that I have any problems with her.

Now she’s planning “the wedding of the century”, literally a $60k blowout bash, and I’m a bridesmaid (“wear whatever you want! But it has to be a stupid shade of powder blue! And no patterns! And wear your hair in a ponytail!”). But I don’t want to go. I don’t even want to be in the same room as her, much less attend her four day celebration/attention fest. She keeps asking me if I’ll be able to make the bachelorette party, and our parents are putting pressure on me to book my flights for the wedding and bachelorette. They’re devoting all their time this year to planning her wedding with her future in-laws, and I’m left behind to take care of our pets. They don’t even check in with me while leaving me home alone with high need animals, and I’ve had to drop plans several times to petsit and take them to the vet.

I just want to RSVP no and skip the wedding. My boyfriend is supportive, but thinks it would be a bit of an asshole move, because I have plenty of experience bottling up my feelings and getting through things like this, and she will only get married once.