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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Outrageous-Buddy6088 on 2023-09-10 12:13:25.


I (33M) have two sisters, “X” (31F) and “Y” (29F). Our parents passed away due to health issues, but Y has unique needs, which I won’t go into. X lives with her husband and their son and daughter, and they had a spare room, so they agreed to let Y move in because it’s also close to Y’s place of work. I’m in a privileged position where I don’t have to worry about struggling financially as I earn a decent income. Due to X taking Y in as a thank-you gesture, I usually pay the bill whenever we meet up.

The thing is there’s a new restaurant that’s opened up in my town and I was having a look at the meal prices and it’s very reasonable; the average meal price is £9.99, extra sides cost between £3.00 and £5.00 whereas drinks are between £1.00 and £4.00 for cold, if you want alcoholic beverages or hot drinks it’s a bit more expensive.

My sisters and I have decided to meet up at this restaurant next Saturday, and my niece, nephew and her husband are also coming. My first thought was that I was going to pay the bill. However, although my sister and her husband earn a decent salary, it’s just enough for their family to live, and they only have a little left over each month until the next paycheck. X had asked to borrow £50.00 two months ago as she was short on a household bill, she’s always paid me back so I agreed and Y asked me a month ago to borrow £30.00. Y always pays me back as well but they still haven’t paid me back.

Due to the fact they owe me money I don’t feel like paying the full bill this time and only paying my bill for the restaurant. However, the reason I came here is because I do feel like I’ll be the asshole because I don’t want to pay the full bill just because they owe me money. Which is why I would appreciate your judgement if I’m the asshole or not as I don’t know what to feel.