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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aita-rage on 2023-09-02 01:50:37.

sockpuppet account for obvious reasons.

my wife and I are in our mid-30s. We’ve been together since 2014, married since 2019. No kids.

about ~4 times per year, my wife has what I can only describe as a rage attack. She has an (untreated) disorder that causes her emotional regulation issues, and she sees a therapist (though not a psychiatrist). They are very frustrating to me. She is functionally “unreachable” as she goes through them, and she just… gets mad. At me, obviously, but just everything in her life, no matter if it makes sense or not. It’s like her amygdala just freaks the fuck out at a tiny thing (mild conflicting opinion from me, or not being able to find her phone, etc) and pumps out anger hormones.

she returns to a baseline afterwards, apologizes earnestly and honestly, and returns to her normal self. Her normal self has big emotions too, but I almost enjoy them - I don’t feel emotions as deeply as her, so it’s nice to feel along with her, if that makes sense.

three nights ago, she had one. We had a little disagreement, so I went into the kitchen, and she threw something at the wall and started just yelling. She wouldn’t let me leave the kitchen. Again there is no reasoning with her when this happens, words mean nothing.

I escaped, told her to go to bed, cleaned up the mess she made, and that was “that”.

The next day, she came home from work and started apologizing, and I told her that I wasn’t really willing for this to happen again, and she has to take action to prevent this from happening. We kept talking and a couple minutes later she said, “I feel really bad, you know” and my response was “right now, I don’t care how you feel. I’m telling you this can’t keep going on.” we dropped it and moved on.

a couple hours ago, she brought up that it was hurtful that I told her I didn’t care about her feelings, but I think that’s a pretty reasonable way to respond when I was on the floor of our condo cleaning up her rage choices the night before.

AITA?