This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AllKn0wingReddit0r on 2023-08-25 19:49:07.

Important backstory information:

My wife, lets call her “Jes”, has been dealing with something that causes severe fatigue and joint pain.

Jes is historically the more cautious one between the two of us.

Our oldest child went back to school this week, and so everyone needs to get up earlier than normal.

So here is where the story starts. It is about 30 minutes after putting child to sleep. Jes is preparing for bed as well. And a severe thunderstorm watch alert goes out, with a possible tornado warning. Outside is lightning show and strong winds visible.

I tell Jes it is time to go down to the main floor. We have a two story house and bedrooms are on the top floor. She is visibly frustrated but agrees. I wake up the children and bring them down to the couch.

The whole time we are waiting, Jes is complaining about not being able to get enough sleep. And asking “why can’t I just go back up to the bed upstairs with the children, and come back down if it gets worse.” She kept calling it a thunderstorm, when I kept saying it is a ‘severe’ thunderstorm.

I kept responding about how that isn’t what you do when there is a severe thunderstorm and we need to wait longer. The radar showed a swell of bad weather heading in our direction within the next half hour. Also, the beds are right next to big windows.

Reminder, she is normally the cautious one, so it was bothering me that she was downplaying the storm so much.

After about 3 or 4 times of her doing this, I accused her of putting her need for sleep ahead of the children’s safety. I think I said something along the lines of “your need for sleep isn’t more important than the kids safety, stop downplaying the storm”.

That did not go over well. What followed was a massive tongue lashing about how could I even say to her that she cares more about herself than the kids. How she is not a bad mom. How she has been so tired that whole day.

I told her that I wasn’t saying she was a bad mom, but in that moment she was being selfish with her needs. And that sorry, the storm doesn’t care how tired/sore you are. None of that changes the fact we were under a severe thunderstorm warning, and I didn’t think it was a good idea to have the kids upstairs.

Fortunately the storm pushed north of us and nothing more came of it in our area.

Unfortunately she is using this as justification that she was right to suggest going up stairs all along.

But the storm north of us did result in a tornado. Houses were damaged, and news is reporting a small death count. So it could have just as easily been our area.

So AITA for telling my wife to stop being selfish with her need for sleep?

edit: A few people have asked why I didn’t just let her go upstairs. I didn’t have a problem, if that is what she wanted to do. But she wanted to bring the kids up with her, and that I had a problem with. Our children are both under 6.

edit 2: This all took place within 20-30 minutes before 9 PM. The kids hadn’t even fallen asleep yet.