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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/meganismean91 on 2023-08-23 13:42:58.

Hey, so genuinely wanting feedback on this and I’ll try and keep it short.

My dad blew up at my step daughter tonight and I backed her and not him and neither of us are backing down from our stance of the situation.

The back context is my dad hasn’t been very successful in life and unfortunately covid hit him and his retirement savings hard and he asked to crash with me and my kids (s10 and d5) around 3 hours away until he could sort himself out.

Unfortunately he is the biggest worrier ever and he was so stressed about the move he didn’t sleep the night of moving day and fell asleep at the wheel on his drive down and had a terrible accident.

Because he was coming to move with me I took sole responsibility of his care and a year later despite him being ok (still has pain) he is living with me.

In the mean time I’ve met a wonderful guy with a daughter 1 year older than mine and tonight he snapped at her for being rude.

Further context so I’m taking accountability I sold my house and signed a 12 month rental with my dad around 5 months ago (his accident was 1 year ago) and he has always been used to his space and i think my two kids and my partners child does stress him as he likes things his way but those with kids know sometimes you have to roll with the punches. I didn’t want to do a rental with my dad but I wanted to make him feel welcome and not add stress to his situation.

The issue tonight is he was packing away some arts and craft things my daughter and my partners daughter was playing with and when he asked my partners daughter for a hand to tidy up she replied with “I’m not your slave”. I intervened straight away and my oldest son also roused on her saying it was rude but my dad got really upset at her and then me after I asked him to stop and that I would handle it with her dad who was on the other end of the house.

He raised his voice that I don’t respect him or the fact he pays half the rent and he is entitled to react to whatever he doesn’t agree with because he pays his part of the rent and it was rude. He ended up leaving and slamming doors on his way out.

When he came back around an hour later he was still upset at how rude she was and I agreed and told him if it was directed at me I would have given her a look so she knew it wasn’t taken well and gone and got her dad and had him intervene.

He is upset i didn’t take his side and I took my partners daughters side who is only 6. I told him I’d react the same next time because kids can be rude and us as adults can control how we react to it and I don’t agree how he chose too.

I hope I didn’t leave anything out. Let me know if I did but I’d appreciate some feedback because I feel like my dad has over stepped here and I didn’t back down in support of my partner and his daughter which has him even more upset.