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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Used-Pause5516 on 2023-08-07 10:14:35.

All names have been changed.

I (40f) have a daughter Lana (20f). Lana’s bio father Jake and his family are not in the picture. Since she was 4 my partner Leo (42m) looked after her and raised her as his own. We do not have any children apart from Lana.

Now the reason why Jake and his family are not in the picture is due to what happened between them and Lana in the past. To spare all the details, Jake and his father were found at taking not appropriate pictures of Lana when she was a baby and spreading them. That resulted in a court order against them, them serving the sentence and they can’t have any contact with me, Lana or any of her future kids. They are also on the register for it. I understand how traumatic this might be to hear, so I haven’t told Lana the whole truth waiting for her to be older.

Over the past few weeks Lana have been behaving really weird. Usually she has great relationship with Leo, but suddenly she started picking on him and starting arguments. It came to a point where she ended up shouting at him for no reason over putting a knife covered in butter in a nearly empty jar of jam. Lana also said she wishes her real dad was here and she knows the whole truth and we are monsters for keeping them apart as her auntie (Jake’s sister) told her everything.

Here were I can be an asshole. My blood boiled and I snapped. I told her what really happened and showed her the entire case file against Jake and his family, including the registry and the articles from the newspapers. I couldn’t stop until Leo took me back as Lana was mortified. She called me an asshole for “dumping it all on her” and went to her room. It has been a couple of days where she only comes out at night to eat (she has ensuite) and she took some time off from work too. I have tried talking to her and left a business card for a therapist if she needs help, but Lana wouldn’t talk to me.